“I am inclined to think that Almo’s entrance into a gang of
sword-fighters was caused by some such intention, that he is alive
because the circumstances he looked forward to never conspired to give
him just the kind of death he preferred. I am inclined to think that he
is now working towards some unthinkable exit from life.
“But I am not much disposed to think his such a case at all. It may be
a mere whim of self-torment, or it may be spontaneous yielding to a
genuine liking for the life he is living. What one human being likes
cannot be realized by other human beings, in many cases.
“My advice is to let him entirely alone. If you interfere you may
precipitate his suicide, if he meditates suicide. By calling in the help
of the Emperor or of his owner or both, you may destroy the chances, the
very good chances, of his returning to his full senses. Men in his state
of mind are often sane in all respects, and, if unsettled, are deranged
only in one particular. They are generally wholly reasonable on all
points except as to their fad of the moment. If that wears off they are
entirely rational. Let him alone. Watch him, but take no other steps.”
This advice seemed simple enough, but carrying it out proved more of a
strain than Brinnaria could have foreseen. The knowledge that Almo was
in Italy, near Fregellae, actually in Latium and within seventy miles
of Rome, that he was living in the hut of an under-farm-bailiff, that he
perhaps purposed some eccentric method of suicide proved racking to her
nerves. She became irritable and fidgety, her music failed to solace
or comfort her and sometimes almost bored her. She groped blindly for
something to distract her mind.
First she had a brief but violent attack of solicitude for her pauper
tenants. She found entertainment in visiting her slum properties and in
endeavoring to alleviate the condition of their inmates. They were far
from grateful. To have a Vestal, clad in the awe-inspiring dignity of
her white robes, with all her badges of office, six braids, headdress,
headband, tassels, ribbons, brooch and all descend from her dazzlingly
upholstered carriage and invade the courtyard of their hive was
thrilling but still more disconcerting to a swarm of slum spawn. They
bragged of the honor for the rest of their lives and strutted over it
for months, but they were unaffectedly relieved to see her depart.
Her inquiries as to their means of livelihood were excruciatingly
embarrassing. The Roman populace, all freemen with their wives and
children, were legally entitled to free seats at the spectacles and to
cooked rations from the government cook-shops in their precinct. They
throve on their free rations. Of their own efforts they had merely to
clothe themselves and pay the rent of their quarters. Cash for rent and
garments they obtained in whatever way happened to be easiest, often by
dubious means. As to their resources they were reticent.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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