"But it wouldn't be right where you could get it any time the craving
came. Won't you let me take it?" He had never before heard that tone
from her; but he fought down the thrill of it and held himself rigidly
calm.
"Oh, I don't know--the jug's doing all right, where it is," he evaded;
what he wanted most was to get at her real object, and, man-like, to
know beyond doubt whether she really cared.
"But you don't--you never touch it," she urged. "I know, because--well,
because every day I look into it! I suppose you'll say I have no right,
that it's spying, or something. But I don't care for that. And I can see
that it's worrying you dreadfully. And if you don't drink any of it, why
won't you let me have it?"
"If I don't drink it; what difference does it make who has it?" he
countered.
"I'm afraid there'll be a time when you'll yield, just because you are
blue and discouraged--or something; whatever mood it is that makes the
temptation hardest to resist. I know myself that things are harder to
endure some days than they are others." She stopped and looked at him in
that enigmatical way she had. "You may not know it--but I've been
staying here just to see whether you fail or succeed. I thought I
understood a little of why you came, and I--I stayed." She leaned and
twisted a wisp of Hooligan's mane nervously, and Ford noticed how the
color came and went in the cheek nearest him.
"I--oh, it's awfully hard to say what I want to say, and not have it
sound different," she began again, without looking at him. "But if you
don't understand what I mean--" Her teeth clicked suggestively.
Ford leaned to her. "Say it anyway and take a chance," he urged, and his
voice was like a kiss, whether he knew it or not. He did know that she
caught her breath at the words or the tone, and that the color flamed a
deeper tint in her cheek and then faded to a faint glow.
"What I mean is that I appreciate the way you have acted all along.
I--it wasn't an easy situation to meet, and you have met it like a
man--and a gentleman. I was afraid of you at first, and I misunderstood
you completely. I'm ashamed to confess it, but it's true. And I want to
see you make good in this thing you have attempted; and if there's
anything on earth that I can do to help you, I want you to let me do it.
You will, won't you?" She looked at him then with clear, honest eyes.
"It's my way of wanting to thank you for--for not taking any advantage,
or trying to, of--your--position that night."
Ford's own cheeks went hot. "I thought you knew all along that I wasn't
a cur, at least," he said harshly. "I never knew before that you had any
reason to be afraid of me, that night. If I'd known that--but I thought
you just didn't like me, and let it go at that. And what I said I meant.
You needn't feel that you have anything to thank me for; I haven't done
a thing that deserves thanks--or fear either, for that matter."
"I thought you understood, when I left--"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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