I wonder if you ever get disagreeable letters? I suppose that a
schoolmaster is peculiarly liable to receive them. The sort of letter I
mean is this. I come down to breakfast in good spirits; I pick up a
letter and open it, and, all of a sudden, it is as if a snake slipped
out and bit me. I close it and put it away, thinking I will read it
later; there it lies close by my plate, and takes away the taste of
food, and blots the sunshine. I take it upstairs, saying that it will
want consideration. I finish my other letters, and then I take it out
again. Out comes the snake again with a warning hiss; but I resist
temptation this time, read it through, and sit staring out of the
window. A disagreeable letter from a disagreeable man, containing
anxious information, of a kind that I cannot really test. What is the
best way to deal with it? I know by experience; answer it at once, as
dispassionately as one can; extract from it the few grains of probable
truth it holds, and keep them in mind for possible future use; then
deliberately try and forget all about it. I know now by experience that
the painful impression will gradually fade, and, meanwhile, one must
try to interpret the whole matter rightly. What is there in one's
conduct which needs the check? Is it that one grows confident and
careless? Probably! But the wholesome thing to do is to deal with it at
once; otherwise it means anxious and feverish hours, when one composes
a long and epigrammatic answer, point by point. The letter is
over-stated, gossipy, malicious; if one lets it soak into the mind, it
makes one suspicious of every one, miserable, cowardly. It is useless
in the first hours, when the sting is yet tingling, to remind oneself
philosophically that the suggestion is exaggerated and malignant; one
does not get any comfort that way. No, the only thing is to plunge into
detail, to work, to read--anything to recover the tone of the mind.
It is a comfort to write to you about it, for to-day I am in the sore
and disquieted condition which is just as unreal and useless as though
I were treating the matter with indifference. Indifference indeed would
be criminal, but morbidity is nearly as bad.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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