England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Social classes -- England -- Fiction
The old lady swooped about the room like a hen driving intruding
sparrows from her grain; when all were banished she swung rapidly
backward and commanded Dorothy to begin. Poor Dorothy tried to explain
how the effect of the song had depended upon the accessories. There had
been the music, for instance.
"Never mind about the music," said the super-dowager.
"And there was a chorus of six."
"Never mind about the chorus."
"And then I haven't got my dog."
"Never mind about the dog."
Dorothy, who had thought that she had put "Dolly and her Collie" behind
her forever, had to stand up and sing to Lady Chatfield as she had sung
to Mr. Richards in the cupola of the Vanity not so many months ago.
"The words are rubbish," said the old lady. "The tune is catchy, but not
so catchy as the tunes they used to write. Your voice is pleasant. Come
nearer to me, child. They tell me you're handsome. Yes, well, I can
almost see that you are. And I'm glad of it, for the Clares are an ugly
race."
Considering that the super-dowager was directly responsible for Tony's
mother, and therefore partially responsible for Arabella and Constantia,
this opinion struck Dorothy as lacking proportion.
"Beauty is required in the family. You understand what I mean? Let's
have none of these modern notions of waiting five or six years before
you do your duty. Produce an heir."
The old lady said this so sharply that Dorothy felt as if she ought to
put her hand in her pocket and produce one then and there.
"Call Tony in to me. Tony," she said, "you're an ass; but not such an
ass as I thought you were."
"Good song, isn't it, grandmother?" he chuckled.
"Don't interrupt me. I said you were only not such an ass as I thought.
You're still an ass. Your wife isn't. You understand what I mean?
Produce an heir. Now I must go to bed." She swept out of the room like a
swallow from under the eaves of a house.
On the way back to Clare, Bella and Connie could not contain their
delight at the success Dorothy had made with their grandmother.
Tompkins, the Chatfield butler, had confided in Connie just before she
left that her ladyship had been heard to hum on entering her bedroom--an
expression of superfluous good temper in which she had not indulged
within his memory. The old lady was always cross at going to bed,
probably because she could not wheel it about like her chair. Nor was
grandmother the only victim to Dorothy's charm: Uncle Chat had been full
of compliments; Charles and the girls had declared she was a stunner;
Aunt Jane had corroborated Tompkins's story about humming.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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