England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Social classes -- England -- Fiction
"Fellow-villagers of the two Cherringtons and of Clarehaven," she began,
evoking loud applause from Mr. and Mrs. Bitterplum and Mr. and Mrs.
Smith, who between them had raised the largest marrow, for which they
would shortly receive ten shillings as a token of England's gratitude,
"in these days when so much is heard of rural depopulation I confess
that looking round me at this crowded assembly I am not one of the
alarmists. I confess that I see no signs of rural depopulation among the
merry faces of the little children of our healthy North Devon breed. I
regret that the committee did not include in its list of prizes another
for the best collection of home-grown children." (Loud cheers from the
audience, in the middle of which one of the little Smiths of Clarehaven
had to be led out of the tent because there was some doubt whether in
chewing one of the prize dahlias he had not swallowed an earwig.)
"Meanwhile, I can only marvel at the enthusiasm and good will with which
you have all worked to make our first agricultural fête the success it
undoubtedly has been. I am told by people who understand these things
that no finer runner-beans have ever appeared than the collection of
runner-beans for which, after long deliberation by the judges, Mr. Isaac
Hodge of Little Cherrington has been awarded the prize." (Cheers.) "I
will not detain you with eulogies of the potatoes shown by our worthy
neighbor, Mr. Blundell of Great Cherrington. Nor shall I detain you by
singing the praises of the really noble beet-roots from the garden of
Mr. Adam Crump of Horley Hill. But I should like to say here how much I
regret that the collections of flowers fell so far below the standard
set by the vegetables. We must remember that without beauty utility is
of little use. This autumn I shall be happy to present flower seeds to
all cottage gardens who apply for them. Mr. Greenish has kindly
consented to act as my distributer. Next year I shall present five
pounds and a silver cup for the best exhibit from these seeds. And now
nothing remains for me except to congratulate once more the winners on
their well-deserved success, and the losers on a failure that only the
exceptional quality of the winning exhibits prevented being a success,
too."
Amid loud cheers Dorothy pinned rosettes to the lapels of the perspiring
competitors, shook hands with each one, to whom she handed his prize
wrapped in tissue-paper, and, bowing graciously, descended from the
dais.
"Now if I can make a speech like that at a flower-show," she said to her
husband that evening, "why can't you speak in the House of Lords?"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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