England -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction; Social classes -- England -- Fiction
"Country sights and country sounds," she exclaimed, and she shivered in
a revulsion against them all, because, though she had proved her ability
to share in that country life, the blind overseer Fate had withdrawn her
to another environment and the overseer must always be propitiated.
The sound of the traffic was casting a spell upon Dorothy's tired
nerves; she began to take pleasure in it, welcoming it as a sound
familiar and cherished over many years. She looked back at herself a
year ago sitting in Clarehaven church, with almost a blush for the
affectation of it all, or rather for what must have seemed like
affectation to other people. She had allowed herself to exaggerate
everything, to dream sublimely and wake ridiculously, to be more than
she was ever meant to be. Not music of wind and sea, but this dull music
of London traffic was the fit accompaniment for her. She knew that now,
when her own sighs absorbed in the countless sighs of the millions round
her took their place in the great harmony of human sorrow. Above the
castanets of hansoms and the horns of motors the omnibuses rolled like
drums ... the hansoms were going back, back, the motors were going
forward; but the omnibuses were going home, home, home. And was not her
own journey through life like journeys she had taken as a child when the
omnibus after a glittering evening went home, rumbling and rolling home?
Dorothy had nearly fallen asleep; waking to full consciousness with a
start, she laughed at her fancies; quickly shutting the window, she drew
the curtains and walked about the golden bedroom as if she would assure
herself that the evening was not nearly spent yet, that not for her was
some dim omnibus waiting to carry her home ... home. She checked the
fresh impulse to dwell upon the monotonous rumble of the traffic and
drove the sound from her mind. Of what could she complain, really? What
other girl like herself would not envy her good fortune? What other girl
would not laugh at her for thinking that life was dull because she had
failed at the first attempt to produce a son? In this comfortable
bedroom, amid flowers of chintz, was she not already more at home than
she had ever been along the herbaceous borders of Clare? The fact was
that her life at Clare had been a part sustained with infinite verve and
accomplishment through many months, but always a part. Yes, it had been
a part which she had sustained so brilliantly that she had nearly ruined
the well-mounted but not very brilliant play in which she had been
performing. The dowager had been right when she had expressed her fears
for the effect upon Tony of his wife's behavior. She had considered her
warning as kindly, but quite unnecessary; she had even pitied the poor
little beaver-like dowager for likening her own position with that rake
of a husband to that which Dorothy occupied in respect of the son. But
the dowager had been right. Herself had risked the substance for the
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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