Love stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
The generosity of her! She'd "put it down in writing"! "I _told_ Uncle
Henry she was white," he thought. But in spite of her whiteness his blue
eyes were wide with horror; all those plans, of Lily in another city,
and an unacknowledged child, in still another city--for of course _it_
could not be in Mercer any more than Lily could!--all these safe
arrangements faded into a swift vision of Lily, in this apartment, with
_it_! Lily, meeting him on the street!--a flash of imagination showed
him Lily, pushing a baby carriage! For just a moment sheer terror made
that dead Youth of his stir.
"You can't keep it!" he said again, hoarsely; "I tell you, I won't allow
it! I'll look after it. _But I won't have it here!_ And I won't ever see
you."
"You needn't," she said, reassuringly; "and I'll never bother you. That
ain't me!"
He was dumb.
"An' look," she said, cheerfully; "honest, it's better for you. What
would you do, looking after a little girl? Why, you couldn't even curl
her hair in the mornings!" Maurice shuddered. "And I'll never ask you
for a cent, if you can just make it convenient to help me in February?"
"Of course I'll help you," he said; then, suddenly, his anger fell into
despair. "Oh, what a damned fool I was!"
"All gentlemen are," she tried to comfort him. Her generosity made him
blush. Added to his shame because of what he had done to Eleanor, was a
new shame at his own thoughts about this little, kind, bad, honest
woman! "Look here," Lily said; "if you're strapped, never mind about
helping me. They'll take you at the Maternity free, if you _can't_ pay.
So I'll go there; and I'll say I'm married; I'll say my husband was Mr.
George Dale, and he's dead; I'll never peep your name. Now, don't you
worry! I'll keep on at Marston's for four months, anyway. Yes; I'll buy
me a ring and call myself Mrs. Dale; I guess I'll say Mrs. Robert Dale;
Robert's a classier name than George. And nobody can say anything to my
baby."
"Of course I'll give you whatever you need for--when--when it's born,"
he said. He was fumbling with his pocketbook; he had nothing more to say
about leaving Mercer.
She took the money doubtfully. "I won't want it yet awhile," she said.
"I'll make it more if I can," he told her; he got up, hesitated, then
put out his hand. For a single instant, just for her pluck, he was
almost fond of her. "Take care of yourself," he said, huskily; and the
next minute he was plunging down those three flights of unswept stairs
to the street. "My own fault--my own fault," he said, again; "oh, what a
cussed, cussed, cussed fool!"
It was over, this dreadful interview! this looking at the dead face of
his Youth. Over, and he was back again just where he was when he came
in. Nothing settled. Lily--who was so much more generous than he!--would
still be in Mercer, waiting for this terrible child. His child!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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