Love stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
And Eleanor?... There had been some dumb days, when she moved about the
house or sat opposite Maurice at table, or exercised Bingo, like an
automaton. Sometimes she sat at her window, looking down through the
bare branches of the poplar at the still, wintry garden; the painted
table, heaped with grimy snow slowly melting in the chill March
sunshine; the dead stalks of the lilies on each side of the icy bricks
of the path; the rusty bars of the iron gate, through which, now and
then, came the glimmer, a block away, of the river--"their river"!
Sometimes for an hour her mind numbly considered these things; then
would come a fierce throb of pain: "He was all the time saying he
'couldn't afford' things; that was so he could give her money, I
suppose?" Then blank listlessness again. She did not suffer very much.
She was too stunned to suffer. She merely said to herself, vaguely,
"I'll leave him." It may have been on the third day that, when she said,
"I will leave him; he has been false to me," her mind whispered back,
very faintly, like an echo, "He has been false to himself." For just a
moment she loved him enough to think that he had sinned. _Maurice has
sinned!_ When she said that, the dismay of it made her forget herself.
She said it with horror, and after a while she added a question: "_Why_
did he do it?" Then came beating its way up through anger and wounded
pride, and suffering love, still another question: "Was it my fault that
he did it? Did he fall in love with that frightful woman because I
failed him?" Instantly her mind sheered off from this question: "I did
everything I knew how to make him happy! I would have died to make him
happy. I adored him! How could he care for that common, ignorant woman I
saw on the porch? A woman who wasn't a lady. A--a _bad_ woman!" But yet
the question repeated itself: "Why? Why?" It demanded an answer: Why did
Maurice--high-minded, pure-hearted, overflowing with a love as
beautiful, and as perfect as Youth itself--how _could_ Maurice be drawn
to such a woman? And by and by the answer struggled to her lips, tearing
her heart as it came with dreadful pain: "He did it because I didn't
make him happy."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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