Love stories, American; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
From the day of the circus, Jacky became, to Eleanor, not a symbol of
Maurice's unfaithfulness, but a hope for the future. The thought of his
mother was only the scar of a wound, which Maurice, in some single
slashing moment, had made in her heart. She was crippled by it, of
course. But the wound had healed so she could forget the scar--because
Maurice had never loved Lily, never found her "interesting," never
wanted to wander about with _her_, in a dark garden, and talk
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing wax--
And cabbages--and kings ...
To be sure the scar ached dully once in a while; but Eleanor knew that
if she could get possession of Jacky she would be protected against
other wounds--wounds which would never heal! She said to herself that
Maurice would never think of Edith Houghton if he had Jacky! But how
should she get Jacky?
For months she revolved countless schemes to persuade Lily to resign
him; schemes so futile that Maurice, listening to them every night when
he got home from the office, was touched, of course; but by and by he
was also a little uneasy. He had told her where Lily lived, then
regretted it, for once she walked up and down before the house on Maple
Street for an hour, hoping to see "the woman," but failing, because Lily
and Jacky happened to be in town that afternoon.
"I have a great mind to steal him for you!" she said, telling Maurice of
her fruitless effort.
He protested, too disturbed at her mere presence on Lily's street to
notice her attempt at a joke. "If Lily should imagine that we were
interested in Jacky, she'd run!" he explained; "it's dangerous, Nelly,
really. You mustn't go near her!"
She promised she wouldn't; but every day of that Mercer winter of
low-hanging smoke and damp chilliness, she longed to get possession of
the child--first to make Maurice happy; then with the craving, driving,
elemental desire for maternity; and then for self-protection,--Jacky
would vanquish Edith!
So she brooded: _a child_!
"If I could only get him, it wouldn't be 'just us'!" ... "A boy's
clothes are not as pretty as a girl's, but a little rough suit would be
awfully attractive.... I'd give him music lessons.... We could go out to
our field in June. And he would take off his shoes and stockings and
wade!" How foolish Edith's grown-up childishness of wading looked,
compared to the scene which she visualized--a little, handsome boy,
standing in the shallow rippling water, bareheaded, probably; the
sunshine sifting down through the locust blossoms and touching that
thatch of yellow hair, and glinting into those blue eyes. "He would call
me 'Mamma'!" Then she hummed to herself, "'O Spring!' Oh, I _must_ have
him!" Her hope became such an obsession that its irrationality did not
strike her. It was so in her mind that she even spoke of it once to Mrs.
Houghton. "I know you _know_?" she said; "Maurice told me he told you."
Mary Houghton said, hesitatingly, "I think I know what you mean."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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