He had formed no idea in his own mind of any definite purpose in
going. He did not know what he should do or what say when he got to
Loring. He had told himself a hundred times that any persecution of
the girl on his part would be mean and unworthy of him. And he was
also aware that no condition in which a man could place himself was
more open to contempt than that of a whining, pining, unsuccessful
lover. A man is bound to take a woman's decision against him, bear
it as he may, and say as little against it as possible. He is bound
to do so when he is convinced that a woman's decision is final; and
there can be no stronger proof of such finality than the fact that
she has declared a preference for some other man. All this Gilmore
knew, but he would not divest himself of the idea that there might
still be some turn in the wheel of fortune. He had heard a vague
rumour that Captain Marrable, his rival, was a very dangerous man.
His uncle was quite sure that the Captain's father was thoroughly
bad, and had thrown out hints against the son, which Gilmore in his
anxiety magnified till he felt convinced that the girl whom he loved
with all his heart was going to throw herself into the arms of a
thorough scamp. Could he not do something, if not for his own sake,
then for hers? Might it not be possible for him to deliver her from
her danger? What, if he should discover some great iniquity;--would
she not then in her gratitude be softened towards him? It was on
the cards that this reprobate was married already, and was about
to commit bigamy. It was quite probable that such a man should be
deeply in debt. As for the fortune that had been left to him, Mr.
Chamberlaine had already ascertained that that amounted to nothing.
It had been consumed to the last shilling in paying the joint debts
of the father and son. Men such as Mr. Chamberlaine have sources of
information which are marvellous to the minds of those who are more
secluded, and not the less marvellous because the information is
invariably false. Gilmore in this way almost came to a conviction
that Mary Lowther was about to sacrifice herself to a man utterly
unworthy of her, and he taught himself, not to think,--but to believe
it to be possible that he might save her. Those who knew him would
have said that he was the last man in the world to be carried away
by a romantic notion;--but he had his own idea of romance as plainly
developed in his mind as was ever the case with a knight of old, who
went forth for the relief of a distressed damsel. If he could do
anything towards saving her, he would do it, or try to do it, though
he should be brought to ruin in the attempt. Might it not be that at
last he would have the reward which other knights always attained?
The chance in his favour was doubtless small, but the world was
nothing to him without this chance.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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