Children of clergy -- Fiction; Christian fiction; Fathers and daughters -- Fiction; Scotland -- Fiction
"God forbid!" I answered. "But I would that many who think they know
better believed in him half as much as many Unitarians do. It is only by
understanding and believing in that humanity of his, which in such pain
and labor manifested his Godhead, that we can come to know it,--know that
Godhead, I mean, in virtue of which alone he was a true and perfect man;
that Godhead which alone can satisfy with peace and hope the poorest human
soul, for it also is the offspring of God."
I ceased, and for some moments she sat silent. Then she said feebly,--
"There's a Bible somewhere in the room."
I found it, and read the story of the woman who came behind him in terror,
and touched the hem of his garment. I could hardly read it for the emotion
it caused in myself; and when I ceased I saw her weeping silently.
A servant entered with the message that Mr. Percivale had called for me.
"I cannot see him to-day," she sobbed.
"Of course not," I replied. "I must leave you now; but I will come
again,--come often if you like."
"You are as kind as ever!" she returned, with a fresh burst of tears. "Will
you come and be with me when--when--?"
She could not finish for sobs.
"I will," I said, knowing well what she meant.
This is how I imagined the change to have come about: what had seemed her
faith had been, in a great measure, but her hope and imagination, occupying
themselves with the forms of the religion towards which all that was
highest in her nature dimly urged. The two characteristics of amicability
and selfishness, not unfrequently combined, rendered it easy for her to
deceive herself, or rather conspired to prevent her from undeceiving
herself, as to the quality and worth of her religion. For, if she had been
other than amiable, the misery following the outbreaks of temper which
would have been of certain occurrence in the state of her health, would
have made her aware in some degree of her moral condition; and, if her
thoughts had not been centred upon herself, she would, in her care for
others, have learned her own helplessness; and the devotion of her good
husband, not then accepted merely as a natural homage to her worth, would
have shown itself as a love beyond her deserts, and would have roused the
longing to be worthy of it. She saw now that he must have imagined her far
better than she was: but she had not meant to deceive him; she had but
followed the impulses of a bright, shallow nature.
But that last epithet bids me pause, and remember that my father has taught
me, and that I have found the lesson true, that there is no such thing as a
shallow nature: every nature is infinitely deep, for the works of God are
everlasting. Also, there is no nature that is not shallow to what it must
become. I suspect every nature must have the subsoil ploughing of sorrow,
before it can recognize either its present poverty or its possible wealth.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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