"Now of course you don't know it, youngster, and it does not trouble you a bit, but you are one too many in this rolling world of ours. People talk about purity and innocence, and little things fresh from their Maker's hands; but, as my friend Lee says, you're a child of sin and shame: that's what you are." "Do you hear?" he continued. "Why, you're laughing at it, as hard as ever you can laugh. Oh, it's funny, is it? Well, I suppose you are right, but it's no joke for poor Madge." The baby laughed and crowed loudly here, ending by coughing till it was nearly black in the face. "Serve you right too, you unnatural little wretch, laughing like that at your mother's troubles. You're a chip of the old block, and no mistake. I've a good mind to pitch you off the cliff into the sea. Oh, you're not afraid, arn't you?" he continued, with his face close to the baby, who wanted re-arranging after the coughquake from which it had suffered, with the result that the two little hands that had opened during the coughing clutched and tightened themselves in Geoffrey's crisp beard, from which they refused to be torn. "Well, look here, young one," continued Geoffrey, after freeing his beard with a good deal of trouble, and leaving two or three curling hairs in the little fists. "You seem to have made up your mind to back up public opinion, you do, and evidently intend to adopt me as your father. Well, I don't mind. I feel just in the humour to do mad things, so why not adopt you? I dare say I could manage to keep you as well as myself; but you won't get fat. I don't care. But look here, youngster, can you sit it out if I have a pipe, and not set to and sneeze off your miserable little head? "Ah, you smile acquiescence, do you?" said Geoffrey. "Well, then, here goes." As he spoke, he began fumbling in his pocket for his pipe-case, tobacco-pouch, and match-box, all of which, in his laughing humour, he placed before the child, then stuck the match-box in one fist, the pipe in the other, and balanced the soft India-rubber pouch on the nodding head. "Now then, stupid! Do you want to commit self-infanticide with phosphorus? Don't suck those matches. It's my belief, baby, that if you were thrown down in a provision warehouse you'd prolong your existence to an indefinite extent. Will you be quiet?" he exclaimed, laughing aloud. "Well, of all the funny little beggars that ever existed you are the most droll. There, now you've got your mouth all over the dye from that leather case. Wait a moment. There, if you must smoke you shall smoke, but don't be so hungry after it that you must suck the case." He took the pipe-case from the little hand, opened and took out the pipe, wiped it, and then playfully closed the tiny fingers round the blackened stem of the old meerschaum, and guided the amber mouth-piece into the wet mouth.