"I will go--this minute--’tis natural and quite proper, poor David, that
you feel like this. Break away from man you must; but don’t break away
from God. Kneel beside her body and pray your heart out. ’Tis the only
thing will keep your brain steady. Work and pray--work like a team of
bosses and pray like a team of saints. Out of kindness I say it. I’m
gone-- She saved my life, mind. You must let me share the praying, for
by God’s grace her death kept me alive. A pity you might say, poor man,
in your black misery and ignorance. But God knew which was wanted most.
I must live--He only knows why; and this young lovely thing, in full joy
of health and happiness, must cut her thread. ’Tis too much to expect
we can understand; but we ban’t expected to understand all that happens.
I tell you the longest life ban’t long enough to explain the way of God
to man, David. Now fetch me a wool shirt while I draw off this one.
Then I be going to catch doctor. And I must look at her once more."
He went into the other room and David, having brought him a dry garment,
followed him.
"A picture of a happy creature," said Reuben, as he stripped to the
waist and dried his huge body. "Remember that. This be only a perishing
bit of clay now, David--blue-vinnied, you see--ready to sink into
earth--but Madge--a very different tale. A lovely, shining angel is she
singing over our heads, along with my wife and all the good dead women.
You keep that in mind and say no more cruel words against Heaven than
you can help. They will out, but fight ’em down, same as I did."
A few minutes afterward Shillabeer went away; but he was still talking
aloud to himself, rolling his head and waving his arms.
Then David, left alone, strove wildly for some faint sign or promise
that his wife was not dead. He stripped her, fetched blankets, lighted
a fire, thrust hot bricks to her feet, and strove to warm her body.
Thus he laboured only that he might be doing something, and through
physical exertion cheat mental torture. He knew that all efforts were
vain, and presently he abandoned them, left his wife in peace, and went
into the kitchen and sat down there.
Nobody came to him for some hours. Then the doctor arrived, expressed
deep sympathy, and promised to see those in authority. He departed in
less than half-an-hour and the man was left alone again.
Two women came presently, did their office for the dead, and went away
again.
Bowden’s thoughts rose and fell like an ebbing and flowing sea. They
wearied him and sank away, leaving his mind a drowsy blank; then, with a
little rest, intellect gripped the catastrophe once more and the tide of
suffering flowed and overwhelmed his spirit. He connected Rhoda with
this event. The more he considered the more he suspected that something
terrible must have happened between the women. He went several times to
the door to look for Rhoda. But she did not come.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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