She had come to read to him for the allotted time; and she threw around
his shoulders the scarlet and black Navajo blanket, striped with its
splendid zigzags of barbarity. Thus he half sat, half leaned, languid
but at ease. In his lap lay one of the letters brought over by the
messenger: and though she was midway in a book that engaged his full
attention--DAVID COPPERFIELD--his silence and absent look this morning
stopped her, and she accused him of not attending.
“No,” he admitted; “I am thinking of something else.”
She looked at him with that apprehension which he knew.
“It had to come,” said he. “And to-day I see my thoughts straighter than
I’ve been up to managing since--since my haid got clear. And now I
must say these thoughts--if I can, if I can!” He stopped. His eyes were
intent upon her; one hand was gripping the arm of his chair.
“You promised--” trembled Molly.
“I promised you should love me,” he sternly interrupted. “Promised that
to myself. I have broken that word.”
She shut DAVID COPPERFIELD mechanically, and grew white.
“Your letter has come to me hyeh,” he continued, gentle again.
“My--” She had forgotten it.
“The letter you wrote to tell me good-by. You wrote it a little while
ago--not a month yet, but it’s away and away long gone for me.”
“I have never let you know--” began Molly.
“The doctor,” he interrupted once more, but very gently now, “he gave
awdehs I must be kept quiet. I reckon yu’ thought tellin’ me might--”
“Forgive me!” cried the girl. “Indeed I ought to have told you sooner!
Indeed I had no excuse!”
“Why, should yu’ tell me if yu’ preferred not? You had written. And you
speak” (he lifted the letter) “of never being able to repay kindness;
but you have turned the tables. I can never repay you by anything! by
anything! So I had figured I would just jog back to Sunk Creek and let
you get away, if you did not want to say that kind of good-by. For I saw
the boxes. Mrs. Taylor is too nice a woman to know the trick of lyin’,
and she could not deceive me. I have knowed yu’ were going away for good
ever since I saw those boxes. But now hyeh comes your letter, and it
seems no way but I must speak. I have thought a deal, lyin’ in this
room. And--to-day--I can say what I have thought. I could not make you
happy.” He stopped, but she did not answer. His voice had grown softer
than whispering, but yet was not a whisper. From its quiet syllables she
turned away, blinded with sudden tears.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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