“Wait, and let me say what I mean.” He had made an imperious gesture
with his hand. “I know a man that mostly wins at cyards. I know a man
that mostly loses. He says it is his luck. All right. Call it his luck.
I know a man that works hard and he’s gettin’ rich, and I know another
that works hard and is gettin’ poor. He says it is his luck. All right.
Call it his luck. I look around and I see folks movin’ up or movin’
down, winners or losers everywhere. All luck, of course. But since folks
can be born that different in their luck, where’s your equality? No,
seh! call your failure luck, or call it laziness, wander around the
words, prospect all yu’ mind to, and yu’ll come out the same old trail
of inequality.” He paused a moment and looked at her. “Some holds four
aces,” he went on, “and some holds nothin’, and some poor fello’ gets
the aces and no show to play ’em; but a man has got to prove himself my
equal before I’ll believe him.”
Molly sat gazing at him, silent.
“I know what yu’ meant,” he told her now, “by sayin’ you’re not the wife
I’d want. But I am the kind that moves up. I am goin’ to be your best
scholar.” He turned toward her, and that fortress within her began to
shake.
“Don’t,” she murmured. “Don’t, please.”
“Don’t what?”
“Why--spoil this.”
“Spoil it?”
“These rides--I don’t love you--I can’t--but these rides are--”
“What are they?”
“My greatest pleasure. There! And, please, I want them to go on so.”
“Go on so! I don’t reckon yu’ know what you’re sayin’. Yu’ might as well
ask fruit to stay green. If the way we are now can keep bein’ enough
for you, it can’t for me. A pleasure to you, is it? Well, to me it is--I
don’t know what to call it. I come to yu’ and I hate it, and I come
again and I hate it, and I ache and grieve all over when I go. No!
You will have to think of some other way than just invitin’ me to keep
green.”
“If I am to see you--” began the girl.
“You’re not to see me. Not like this. I can stay away easier than what I
am doin’.”
“Will you do me a favor, a great one?” said she, now.
“Make it as impossible as you please!” he cried. He thought it was to be
some action.
“Go on coming. But don’t talk to me about--don’t talk in that way--if
you can help it.”
He laughed out, not permitting himself to swear.
“But,” she continued, “if you can’t help talking that way--sometimes--I
promise I will listen. That is the only promise I make.”
“That is a bargain,” he said.
Then he helped her mount her horse, restraining himself like a Spartan,
and they rode home to her cabin.
“You have made it pretty near impossible,” he said, as he took his
leave. “But you’ve been square to-day, and I’ll show you I can be square
when I come back. I’ll not do more than ask you if your mind’s the same.
And now I’ll not see you for quite a while. I am going a long way. But
I’ll be very busy. And bein’ busy always keeps me from grievin’ too much
about you.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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