So I was passing that way also, walking for the sake of ventilation from a sleeping-car toward a bath, when the language of Colonel Cyrus Jones came out to me. The actual colonel I had never seen before. He stood at the rear of his palace in gray flowery mustaches and a Confederate uniform, telling the wishes of his guests to the cook through a hole. You always bought meal tickets at once, else you became unwelcome. Guests here had foibles at times, and a rapid exit was too easy. Therefore I bought a ticket. It was spring and summer since I had heard anything like the colonel. The Missouri had not yet flowed into New York dialect freely, and his vocabulary met me like the breeze of the plains. So I went in to be fanned by it, and there sat the Virginian at a table, alone. His greeting was up to the code of indifference proper on the plains; but he presently remarked, “I’m right glad to see somebody,” which was a good deal to say. “Them that comes hyeh,” he observed next, “don’t eat. They feed.” And he considered the guests with a sombre attention. “D’ yu’ reckon they find joyful digestion in this swallo’-an’-get-out trough?” “What are you doing here, then?” said I. “Oh, pshaw! When yu’ can’t have what you choose, yu’ just choose what you have.” And he took the bill-of-fare. I began to know that he had something on his mind, so I did not trouble him further. Meanwhile he sat studying the bill-of-fare. “Ever heard o’ them?” he inquired, shoving me the spotted document. Most improbable dishes were there,--salmis, canapes, supremes,--all perfectly spelt and absolutely transparent. It was the old trick of copying some metropolitan menu to catch travellers of the third and last dimension of innocence; and whenever this is done the food is of the third and last dimension of awfulness, which the cow-puncher knew as well as anybody. “So they keep that up here still,” I said. “But what about them?” he repeated. His finger was at a special item, FROGS’ LEGS A LA DELMONICO. “Are they true anywheres?” he asked. And I told him, certainly. I also explained to him about Delmonico of New York and about Augustin of Philadelphia. “There’s not a little bit o’ use in lyin’ to me this mawnin’,” he said, with his engaging smile. “I ain’t goin’ to awdeh anything’s laigs.” “Well, I’ll see how he gets out of it,” I said, remembering the odd Texas legend. (The traveller read the bill-of-fare, you know, and called for a vol-au-vent. And the proprietor looked at the traveller, and running a pistol into his ear, observed, “You’ll take hash.”) I was thinking of this and wondering what would happen to me. So I took the step. “Wants frogs’ legs, does he?” shouted Colonel Cyrus Jones. He fixed his eye upon me, and it narrowed to a slit. “Too many brain workers breakfasting before yu’ came in, professor,” said he. “Missionary ate the last leg off me just now. Brown the wheat!” he commanded, through the hole to the cook, for some one had ordered hot cakes.