“Why, you seem to think you’ve left me behind,” he began easily, in
fawning tones. “You’re too much of a kid to have such thoughts. Age
some.” His next remark grew less wheedling. “I wouldn’t be a bit proud
to meet yu’. Why, if I was seen travellin’ with yu’, I’d have to explain
it to my friends! Think you’ve got me left, do yu’? Just because yu’
ride through this country on a rail, do yu’ claim yu’ can find your way
around? I could take yu’ out ten yards in the brush and lose yu’ in
ten seconds, you spangle-roofed hobo! Leave ME behind? you recent
blanket-mortgage yearlin’! You plush-lined, nickel-plated, whistlin’
wash room, d’ yu’ figure I can’t go east just as soon as west? Or I’ll
stay right here if it suits me, yu’ dude-inhabited hot-box! Why, yu’
coon-bossed face-towel--” But from here he rose in flights of novelty
that appalled and held me spellbound, and which are not for me to say
to you. Then he came down easily again, and finished with expressions of
sympathy for it because it could never have known a mother.
“Do you expaict it could show a male parent offhand?” inquired a slow
voice behind us. I jumped round, and there was the Virginian.
“Male parent!” scoffed the prompt Scipio. “Ain’t you heard about THEM
yet?”
“Them? Was there two?”
“Two? The blamed thing was sired by a whole doggone Dutch syndicate.”
“Why, the piebald son of a gun!” responded the Virginian, sweetly. “I
got them steers through all right,” he added to me. “Sorry to see yu’
get so out o’ breath afteh the train. Is your valise sufferin’ any?”
“Who’s he?” inquired Scipio, curiously, turning to me.
The Southerner sat with a newspaper on the rear platform of a caboose.
The caboose stood hitched behind a mile or so of freight train, and
the train was headed west. So here was the deputy foreman, his steers
delivered in Chicago, his men (I could hear them) safe in the caboose,
his paper in his lap, and his legs dangling at ease over the railing. He
wore the look of a man for whom things are going smooth. And for me the
way to Billings was smooth now, also.
“Who’s he?” Scipio repeated.
But from inside the caboose loud laughter and noise broke on us. Some
one was reciting “And it’s my night to howl.”
“We’ll all howl when we get to Rawhide,” said some other one; and they
howled now.
“These hyeh steam cyars,” said the Virginian to Scipio, “make a man’s
language mighty nigh as speedy as his travel.” Of Shorty he took no
notice whatever--no more than of the manifestations in the caboose.
“So yu’ heard me speakin’ to the express,” said Scipio. “Well, I guess,
sometimes I--See here,” he exclaimed, for the Virginian was gravely
considering him, “I may have talked some, but I walked a whole lot. You
didn’t catch ME squandering no speed. Soon as--”
“I noticed,” said the Virginian, “thinkin’ came quicker to yu’ than
runnin’.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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