She was no longer frightened of love--not even of a love that by the very
nature of things might exact far more from her than from most women. She
would never be afraid of the big claims which life might make on her.
Hitherto, whatever had come her way she had met with a gay courage and
confidence, and now that the biggest thing of all had come to her, with its
shadow of incalculable demands upon her womanhood, she would go to meet
that, too, with the same brave steadfastness.
With the unerring instinct of the mother-woman, she realised how Eliot had
fought against his love for her, tried to withstand it, utterly distrustful
of her sex, and she smiled with a tenderly amused indulgence as she
recalled his sudden withdrawals and brusquenesses. His sending down a groom
to inquire how she was--it had hurt her badly at the time to think he cared
so little. But now she recognised that it was because he cared so much--so
much that he had begun to be afraid. So he had hidden behind his groom!
And with the realisation of how much he cared--_must_ care, to have striven
so hard to hide and fight it down--she was shaken with a shy, quivering
ecstasy, a hesitant sweetness of need and longing that pulsed through every
nerve of her. The thought of the morrow almost frightened her. He would
come to-morrow--come to tell her all that he had left unsaid, to claim that
promise of surrender which a woman both loves and fears to give.
... It was late when at last she slept, and she woke to find the sunlight
streaming in through her window, and Maria standing at her bedside, an
appetising breakfast-tray in her hands and a world of shrewd suspicion in
her twinkling eyes. Last night she had chanced to look out of her kitchen
window--which admitted of a slanting glimpse of the Cottage gateway--and
had drawn her own deductions accordingly.
"You've had a brave sleep, Miss Ann," she observed, as she deposited the
tray she was carrying on a small table beside the bed. "Mr. Coventry stayed
late, I reckon?"
Ann flushed a little, smiling. She did not resent the kindly
inquisitiveness which gleamed at her out of Maria's sharp old eyes, but
she had no mind to gratify it at the moment.
"Not very late. I think he left by about eleven o'clock," she answered,
with quite a good assumption of indifference. "But I expect being out in
the fresh air for the first time for several days made me sleep rather
soundly. Why didn't you call me as usual? I'm not an invalid any longer,
you know."
"I thought if so be you'd a mind to sleep on, 'twouldn't do you no harm,"
vouchsafed Maria rather grumpily. She was inwardly burning with curiosity,
but felt unequal to the task of coping with her young mistress's facility
for eluding tentative inquiries, so she stumped downstairs to the kitchen
regions, and left her to consume her breakfast in solitude.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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