He came towards her, upright and still and thoughtful. She did not look
at him, but past him towards the closed door. He only looked at her with
quiet, remembering eyes. Then he went straight to the point, as was his
habit.
“I was wrong,” he said, “when I said that fate could be hampered by
action. Nothing can hamper it. For fate has brought me here again.”
He stood before her, and the attitude in some way conveyed that by the
word “here” he only thought and meant near to her. There was a strange
look in her eyes of suspense and fear, and something else which needs
no telling to such as have seen it, and cannot be conveyed in words to
those who have not.
“A clear understanding,” he said abruptly, recalling her own words.
“That is your creed.”
She gave a little nod, and still looked past him towards the door
with deep, submissive eyes. One would have thought that she had done
something wrong which was being brought home to her. Explain the
thought, who can!
“I made another mistake,” he said. “Have been acting on it for years.
I thought that a career was everything. I dreamed, I suppose, of an
embassy--of a viceroyalty, perhaps--when I was quite young, and thought
the world was easy to conquer. All that . . . vanished when I saw you.
If it comes, well and good. I should like it. Not for my own sake.”
She made a little movement, and her eyelids flickered. Ah! that clear
understanding, which poor humanity cannot put into words!
“If it doesn't come”--he paused, and snapped the finger and thumb that
hung quiescent at his side--“well and good. I shall have lived. I shall
have known what life is meant to be. I shall have been the happiest man
in the world.”
He spoke slowly in his gently abrupt way. Practice in a difficult
profession had taught him to weigh every word he uttered. He had never
been known to say more than he meant.
“There never has been anybody else,” he continued. “All that side of
life was quite blank. The world was empty until you came and filled it,
at Lady Orlay's that afternoon. I had come half round the world--you had
come across Europe. And fate had fixed that I should meet you there.
At first I did not believe. I thought it was a mistake--that we should
drift apart again. Then came my orders to leave for Warsaw. I knew then
that you would inevitably return. Still I tried to get out of it--fought
against it--tried to avoid you. And you knew what it all came to.”
She nodded again, and still did not meet his eyes. She had not spoken to
him since he entered the room.
“There never can be anybody else,” he said. “How could there be?”
And the abrupt laugh that followed the question made her catch her
breath. She had, then, the knowledge given to so few, that so far as
this one fellow-creature was concerned she was the whole earth--that
he was thrusting upon her the greatest responsibility that the soul can
carry. For to love is as difficult as it is rare, but to be worthy of
love is infinitely harder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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