The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
The conflict of her mind, during this doubting state, threatened to cast
her into a consumption. She was ordered to the south of France. And
there, happily arrived, new scenes,--a new world, rather, opened to her
a code of new ideas, that soon, she said, taught her to scoff at idle
misery: and might even, from the occupation given to her feelings, by
the glorious confusion, and mad wonders around her, have recovered her
from the thraldom of an over-ruling propensity, had not Dennis, unable,
from professional engagements, to quit his country, been so blind, upon
hearing that her health was re-established, as to persuade his brother
to cross the Channel, in order to escort the two travellers home. From
the moment, the fated moment, that Albert arrived to be her guide and
her guard, he became so irresistibly the master of her heart, that her
destiny was determined. Whether good or ill, she knew not yet; but it
was fixed. Ill had not occurred to her sanguine expectations, nor doubt,
nor fear, till the eventful meeting with Ellis: till then, she had
believed her happiness secure, for she had supposed that nothing stood
in her way, save a little brotherly punctilio. But, since the junction
of Ellis, the spontaneous interest which Albert had taken in her fate,
and her affairs, had appeared to be so marvellous, that, at every new
view of his pity, his respect, or his admiration, she was seized with
the most uneasy feelings; which sometimes worked her up into pangs of
excruciating jealousy; and, at others, seemed to be so ill founded,
that, recollecting a thousand instances of his general benevolence, she
laughed her own surmises to scorn. How the matter still stood, with
regard to his heart, she confessed herself unable to form any permanent
judgment. The time, however, was now, happily, arrived, to abolish
suspense, for even Dennis, now, could bear it no longer. She expected,
she said, a desperate scene, but, at least, it would be a final one. She
had only, for many months past, been restrained from giving Dennis his
dismission, lest Albert should drop all separate acquaintance, from the
horrour of seeming treacherously to usurp the place of his brother.
Nevertheless, she would frankly have ended her disturbance, by an avowal
of the truth, had not Albert been the eldest brother, and, consequently,
the richest; and the disgraceful supposition, that she might be
influenced to desire the change from mercenary motives, would have had
power to yoke her to Dennis, for the rest of her weary existence, had
not her mind been so luminously opened to its own resources, and
inherent right of choice, by her continental excursion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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