The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 1 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
The parcel contained cast-off clothes of almost every description; but,
much as she required such aid, the manner in which it was offered
determined her upon its rejection.
In a few hours, the maid who brought her meals, was desired by Mr
Harleigh to inform her, that he had executed her commission at the
post-office.
This assurance revived her, and enabled her to pass the day in tolerable
tranquillity, though perfectly alone, and without any species of
employment to diversify her ruminations, or help to wear away the
tediousness of expectation.
When the next day, however, and the next, passed without her seeing any
of the family, she felt disconcerted and disturbed. To be abandoned by
Elinor, and even by Selina, made her situation appear worse than
forlorn; and her offended spirit deemed the succour thus afforded her,
inadequate to compensate for the endurance of universal disesteem and
avoidance. She determined, therefore, to quit the inhospitable mansion,
persuaded that no efforts could be too difficult, no means too
laborious, that might rescue her from an abode which she could no longer
inhabit, without seeming to herself to be degraded.
But the idea of this project had a facility of which its execution did
not partake. She had no money, save what she had received from the two
sisters; even that, by a night and day spent at the milliner's, was much
diminished. She could not quit the neighbourhood of Brighthelmstone,
while still in expectation of a letter; and if, while awaiting it in any
other house, the compassion, or the philanthropy of Harleigh should urge
him to see her, might not Elinor conclude that she had only retreated to
receive his visits alone?
Apprehensions such as these frightened her into forbearance: but in
teaching her prudence, they did not endow her with contentment. Her
hours lingered in depression and uncertainty; her time was not employed
but consumed; her faculties were not enjoyed, but wasted.
Yet, upon more mature reflexion, she enquired by what right she expected
kinder treatment. Unknown, unnamed, without any sort of recommendation,
she applied for succour, and it was granted her: if she met with the
humanity of being listened to, and the charity of being assisted, must
she quarrel with her benefactors, because they gave not implicit credit
to the word of a lonely Wanderer for her own character? or think herself
ill used that their donations and their aid were not delicate as well as
useful?
This sober style of reasoning soon chased away resentment, and, with
quieter nerves, she awaited some termination to her suspence and
solitude.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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