The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
The horror of a new debt, incurred under circumstances thus delicate,
made the idea even of performing at the public benefit, present itself
to her in colours less formidable, if such a measure, by restoring to
her the patronage of Miss Arbe, would obviate the return of similar
evils, while she was thus hanging, in solitary obscurity, upon herself.
Vainly she would have turned her thoughts to other plans, and objects
yet untried; she had no means to form any independent scheme; no friends
to promote her interest; no counsellors to point out any pursuit, or
direct any measures.
Her creditors failed not to call upon her early the next morning, guided
and accompanied by Mr Giles Arbe; who, bright with smiles and good
humour, declared, that he could not refuse himself the pleasure of being
a witness to her getting rid of such a bad business, as that of keeping
other people's money, by doing such a good one as that of paying every
one his due. 'You are much obliged to this pretty lady, I can tell you,'
he said, to the creditors, 'for she pays you with money that is not her
own. However, as the person it belongs to is rich, and a friend, I
advise you, as you are none of you rich yourselves, and nearly strangers
to her, to take it without scruple.'
To this counsel there was not one dissentient voice.
Can the same person, thought Ellis, be so innocent, yet so mischievous?
so fraught with solid notions of right, yet so shallow in judgement, and
knowledge of the world?
With a trembling hand, and revolting heart, she changed three of the
notes, and discharged all the accounts at once; Mr Giles, eagerly and
unbidden, having called up Miss Matson to take her share.
Ellis now deliberated, whether she might not free herself from every
demand, by paying, also, Miss Bydel; but the reluctance with which she
had already broken into the fearful deposit, soon fixed her to seal up
the remaining notes entire.
The shock of this transaction, and the earnestness of her desire to
replace money which she deemed it unjustifiable to employ, completed the
conquest of her repugnance to public exhibition; and she commissioned Mr
Giles to acquaint Miss Arbe, that she was ready to obey her commands.
This he undertook with the utmost pleasure; saying, 'And it's lucky
enough your consenting to sing those songs, because my cousin, not
dreaming of any objection on your part, had already authorised Mr
Vinstreigle to put your name in his bills.'
'My name?' cried Ellis, starting and changing colour: but the next
moment adding, 'No, no! my name will not appear!--Yet should any one who
has ever seen me....'
She shuddered; a nervous horrour took possession of her whole frame; but
she soon forced herself to revive, and assume new courage, upon hearing
Mr Giles, from the landing-place, again call Miss Matson; and bid all
her young women, one by one, and the two maid-servants, hurry up stairs
directly, with water and burnt feathers.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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