The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
Miss Arbe, somewhat ashamed, repeated her assurances of personal good
opinion; and then, with many pompous professions of regard and concern,
owned that there had been a discussion at Lady Kendover's, after
church-time on Sunday, which had concluded by a final decision, of her
ladyship's, that it was utterly impossible to admit a young woman, so
obscurely involved in strange circumstances, and so ready to fall into
low company, to so confidential a kind of intercourse, as that of giving
instructions to young persons of fashion. Every body else, of course,
would abide by her ladyship's decision, 'and therefore, my dear Miss
Ellis,' she continued, 'I am excessively sorry, but our plan is quite
overset. I am excessively sorry, I assure you; but what can be done?
However, I have not above three minutes to stay, so do let us try that
sweet adagio. I want vastly to conquer the horrid long bars of that
eternal cadenza.'
Ellis, for a few moments, stood almost stupified with amazement at so
selfish a proposition, at the very instant of announcing so ruinous a
sentence. But disdain soon supplied her with philosophy, and scorning to
make an appeal for a consideration so unfeelingly withheld, she calmly
went to her harp.
When Miss Arbe, however, rose to be gone, she begged some advice
relative both to the debts which she had contracted, and those which she
was entitled to claim; but Miss Arbe, looking at her watch, and hurrying
on her gloves, declared that she had not a second to lose. 'I shall see
you, however,' she cried, in quitting the chamber, 'as often as
possible: I can find a thousand pretences for coming to Miss Matson's,
without any body's knowing why; so we can still have our delightful
little musical meetings.'
The contempt inspired by this worldly patroness, so intent upon her own
advantage, so insensible to the distress of the person whom she affected
to protect, occupied the mind of Ellis only while she was present; the
door was no sooner shut, than she felt wholly engrossed by her own
situation, and her disappointment at large. This scheme, then, she
cried, is already at an end! this plan for self-dependence is already
abortive! And I have not my disappointment only to bear, it is
accompanied with disgrace, and exposes me to indignity!
Deeply hurt and strongly affected, how insufficient, she
exclaimed, is a FEMALE to herself! How utterly dependant upon
situation--connexions--circumstance! how nameless, how for ever
fresh-springing are her DIFFICULTIES, when she would owe her existence
to her own exertions! Her conduct is criticised, not scrutinized; her
character is censured, not examined; her labours are unhonoured, and her
qualifications are but lures to ill will! Calumny hovers over her head,
and slander follows her footsteps!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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