The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 2 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
She then enquired from whom Mr Giles had received the two guineas and
the half guinea which he had put upon the table.
From Mr Tedman.
Mr Tedman, she said, was the only person of the whole set who owed her
nothing; but to whom, on the contrary, she was herself indebted; not
having yet had an opportunity to clear what he had advanced.
'So he told me,' cried Mr Giles; 'for I don't believe he forgets things
of that sort. But he said he had such a regard for you, that he would
stand to trusting you with as much again, _put in case_ you would give
him your receipt for paying it off in lessons to his daughter. And for
this much, in the mean while, as you were not by, he consented to take
mine.'
'You are very kind, Sir,' said Ellis; 'and Mr Tedman himself,
notwithstanding his deficiency in education and language, is, I believe,
really good: nevertheless, I am too uncertain of my power to continue my
musical project, to risk a new bankruptcy of this nature.' She then
begged him to take back the money; with a promise that she would
speedily settle what yet remained undischarged of the former account.
He blamed her warmly. 'Mr Tedman,' he said, 'is rich and good natured,
you are poor and helpless: he ought to give; it's only being just: you
ought to accept, or you are only very foolish.'
'Do not be hasty to blame me, my good Mr Giles. There are certain points
in which every one must judge for himself. With regard to me, I must
resist all pecuniary obligations.'
'Except to poor trades-people!' cried he, nodding a little
reproachfully; 'and those you will let work and toil for you gratis!'
Ellis, shocked, and struck to the quick, looked deeply distressed.
'Perhaps,' she said, 'I may be wrong! Justice, certainly, should take
place of whatever is personal, however dear or near its interest!--'
She paused, ruminated, irresolute, and dissatisfied; and then said,
'Were I to consult only myself, my own feelings, whatever they may be,
should surely and even instantly, give way, to what is due to others;
but I must not imagine that I shall be doomed for ever to this
deplorable condition; and those to whom I may yet belong, may blame--may
resent any measures that may give publicity to my situation. Will not
this objection have some weight, Sir, to lessen your censure of my
seeming insensibility, to claims of which I acknowledge the right?'
'What, then, you think, I suppose, that when your friends come to you,
they'll be quite pleased to find you have accepted goods and favours
from your shoe-maker, and your hosier, and your linen-draper? though
they would be too proud to let you receive money from the rich and idle?
Better sing those songs, my dear! much better sing those songs! Then
you'll have money for yourself and every body.'
Ellis now breathed hard. 'Alas!' she cried, 'justice, reason, common
sense, all seem against me! If, therefore, Lady Aurora approve this
scheme,--my fears and my feelings must yield to such a tide!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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