The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 3 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 3 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
'So you don't ask me what it is that makes me so devilish dutiful all of
a sudden, in visiting my mamma? You think, perhaps, I have some debts to
pay? No; I have no taste for gaming. It's the cursedest fatiguing thing
in the world. If one don't mind what one's about, one is blown up in a
moment; and to be always upon one's guard, is worse than ruin itself. So
I am upon no coaxing expedition, I give you my word. What do you think
it is, then, that brings me hither? Cannot you guess?--Hay?--Why it is
to arrange something, somehow or other, for getting myself from under
this terrible yoke, that seems upon the point of enslaving me. My neck
feels galled by it already! I have naturally no taste for matrimony. And
now that the business seems to be drawing to a point, and I am called
upon to name my lawyer, and cavilled with to declare, to the uttermost
sixpence, what I will do, and what I will give, to make my wife merry
and comfortable upon my going out of the world,--I protest I shudder
with horrour! I think there is nothing upon earth so mercenary, as a
young nymph upon the point of becoming a bride!'
'Except,--' Juliet here could not resist saying, 'except the man,--young
or old,--who is her bridegroom!'
'O, that's another thing! quite another thing! A man must needs take
care of his house, and his table, and all that: but the horridest thing
I know, is the condition tied to a man's obtaining the hand of a young
woman; he can never solicit it, but by giving her a prospect of his
death-bed! And she never consents to live with him, till she knows what
she may gain by his dying! Tis the most shocking style of making love
that can be imagined. I don't like it, I swear! What, now, would you
advise me to do?'
'I?'
'Yes; you know the scrape I am in, don't you? Sir Jaspar's estate, in
case he should have no children, is entailed upon me; and, in case I
should have none neither, is entailed upon a cousin; the heaviest dog
you ever saw in your life, whom he hates and despises; and whom I wish
at old Nick with all my heart, because I know he, and all his family,
will wish me at the devil myself, if I marry; and, if I have children,
will wish them and my wife there. I hate them all so heartily, that,
whenever I think of them, I am ready, in pure spite, to be tied to the
first girl that comes in my way: but, when I think of myself, I am taken
with a fit of fright, and in a plaguey hurry to cut the knot off short.
And this is the way I have got the character of a male jilt. But I don't
deserve it, I assure you; for of all the females with whom I have had
these little engagements, there is not one whom I have seriously thought
of marrying, after the first half hour. They none of them hit my fancy
further than to kill a little time.'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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