The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)Burney, Fanny
History
The Wanderer; or, Female Difficulties (Volume 5 of 5)
Burney, Fanny
France -- History -- Revolution, 1789-1799 -- Refugees -- Fiction; Historical fiction; Refugees -- Fiction; War stories
In Juliet, though happiness was not less exalted, pleasure wore the
chastened garb of moderation, even in the midst of a frankness that laid
open her heart. Yet, seeing his suit thus authorized by her brother, and
certain of the approbation of the Bishop, and of her uncle, to so equal
and honourable an alliance; she indulged her soft propensities in his
favour, by gently conceding avowals, that rewarded not alone his
persevering constancy, but her own long and difficult forbearance. 'Many
efforts, many conflicts,' she cried, 'in my cruel trials, I have
certainly found harder; but none, none so distasteful, as the
unremitting necessity of seeming always impenetrable--where most I was
sensitive!'
'By sweetness such as this,' cried Harleigh, 'you would almost persuade
me to rejoice at a suspense that has nearly maddened me! Yet,--could you
have conceived the agony, the despair of my mind, at your icy,
relentless silence! not once to trust me as a friend! not one moment to
confide in my integrity! never to consult, to commune, to speak, nor to
hear!--You smile?--Can it be at the pain you have inflicted?'--
'Oh no, no, no! If I smile, 'tis at the greater pain I have, I trust,
averted! While conscious that I might, eventually, be chained to
another, every duty admonished me to resist every feeling!--Yet with
hope always, ultimately, before me, I had not the force to utter a
word,--a baneful word!--that might teach you to renounce me!--even
though I deemed it indispensable to my honour to exact a total
separation. Had I confided to you my fearful secret,--had you yourself
aided the abolition of my shackles, should I not, in a situation so
delicate, so critical, have fixed an eternal barrier between us,--or
have sacrificed the fame of both to the most wounding of calumnies? Ah
no! from the instant that my heart interfered,--that I was conscious of
a new motive that urged my wish of liberation,--I have held it my duty,
I have felt it my future happiness, to avoid,--to fear,--to fly you!--'
'I was most favoured, then, it seems,' replied Harleigh, with a smile of
rapture, 'when I thought you most inexorable? I must thank you for your
rejections, your avoidance, your implacable, immoveable coldness?'
'Reverse, else, the medal,' cried she, gaily, 'and see whether the
impression will be more to your taste!'
'Loveliest Miss Ellis! most beloved Miss Granville! My own,--at length!
at length! my own sweet Juliet! that, and that only can be to my taste
which has brought me to the bliss of this moment!'
With blushing tenderness, Juliet then confessed, that at the moment of
his first generous declaration, following the summer-house scene with
Elinor, she had felt pierced with an aggravated horrour of her nameless
ties, that had nearly burst her heart asunder.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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