The War Stories of Private Thomas AtkinsMilne, James
History
The War Stories of Private Thomas Atkins
Milne, James
World War, 1914-1918 -- Anecdotes
What most of us feel here is that the Germans are staking everything on
fighting in France or Belgium, and when they are beaten, as they will
be sooner or later, they will howl for peace to save their own country
from the horrors of invasion. That’s an idea we have got from their
prisoners, and they think it’s a rattling good one. If it were left to
the army to settle you may be sure that we’d vote to a man for giving
the devils a taste of their own medicine, and you’ll see us crossing
their sacred Rhine before long unless you’re the greatest fools in
creation. You are only a woman and can’t vote, but for Heaven’s sake
rub it in to all the men you know that this is what the army feels
about the thing. We wouldn’t make peace with the devils until we’ve
rubbed their noses well into the ground of their Fatherland, and we’ll
do it yet, even if it costs us a million lives: _Lance-Corpl. S.
Northcroft, of Wolverhampton_.
The Franco-British Team
The great match for the European Cup is still being played out, and I
daresay there’s a record gate, though you can’t see the spectators from
the field. That’s one of the rules of the game when this match is on.
Our team is about as fit as you can have them, and they’re all good
men, though some of them are amateurs and the Germans are all “pros.”
The German forwards are a rotten pack. They have no dash worth talking
about, and they come up the field as though they were going to the
funeral of their nearest and dearest. When they are charged they nearly
always fall away on to their backs, and their goal-keeping’s about the
rottenest thing you ever set eyes on. I wouldn’t give a brass farthing
for their chances of lifting the Cup, and if you have any brass to
spare you can put it on the Franco-British team, who are scoring goals
so fast that we haven’t time to stop and count them. The Kaiser makes
a rotten captain for any team, and it’s little wonder they are losing.
Most of our side would like to tell him what they think of him and his
team: _A Gunner of the Royal Field Artillery_.
Music and Lunch
We have been in the thick of the fighting all the time, and I can’t
understand how it happens that I’m alive and here now, and everyone
else is the same. If ever there was a Providence above watching and
guarding, there is one over our regiment, and me in particular. Last
week I was four days and three nights without sleep at all, except an
hour in the saddle or lying on the roadside; but we have been having a
rest this last two days, and we could do with it. You don’t look very
well in your photo; in fact, it made me feel more worried than whole
regiments of Germans would do. You are worrying about me, I am afraid,
and you absolutely must not do that. Why, I’m in the pink of condition;
have just had a chicken for dinner (from a deserted château). Have just
had two packets of Player’s from the Cigarette Fund. I’m just going to
have a sleep, and I wouldn’t call the King my uncle: _A Bandsman of the
Lancers_.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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