Then by accident it took a new form. While sitting with Sybil one day in
the library, he began listlessly to turn over the leaves of an old book.
He read a few pages, and found the hint of a story like his own. It was
some French life of Justinian, one of the unscholarly productions of
last century, made up of stories from Procopius and tags of Roman law.
Here was his own case written down in black and white; and the man had
been a king of kings! This was a new comfort, and for a little--strange
though it may seem--he took a sort of pride in his affliction. He
worshipped the great emperor and read every scrap he could find on him,
not excepting the Pandects and the Digest. He sent for the bust in the
dining-room, paying a fabulous price. Then he settled himself to study
his imperial prototype, and the study became an idolatry. As I have
said, Ladlaw was a man of ordinary talents and certainly of meagre
imaginative power. And yet from the lies of the 'Secret History' and the
crudities of German legalists he had constructed a marvellous portrait
of a man. Sitting there in the half-lit room, he drew the picture,--the
quiet, cold king with his inheritance of Dacian mysticism, holding the
great world in fee, giving it law and religion, fighting its wars,
building its churches, and yet all the while intent upon his own private
work of making his peace with his soul. The churchman and warrior whom
all the world worshipped, and yet one going through life with his lip
quivering, the Watcher by the Threshold ever at his left side. Sometimes
at night in the great Brazen Palace, warders heard the emperor walking
in the dark corridors, alone and yet not alone; for once, when a servant
entered with a lamp, he saw his master with a face as of another world,
and something beside him which had no face or shape, but which he knew
to be that hoary Evil which is older than the stars. Crazy nonsense! I
had to rub my eyes to assure myself that I was not sleeping. No! There
was my friend with his suffering face, and it was the library of More.
And then he spoke of Theodora--actress, harlot, _dévote_, empress. For
him the lady was but another part of the uttermost horror, a form of the
shapeless thing at his side. I felt myself falling under the
fascination. I have no nerves and little imagination, but in a flash I
seemed to realise something of that awful featureless face, crouching
ever at a man's hand, till darkness and loneliness comes and it rises to
its mastery. I shivered as I looked at the man in the chair before me.
Those dull eyes of his were looking upon things I could not see, and I
saw their terror. I realised that it was grim earnest for him. Nonsense
or no, some devilish fancy had usurped the place of sanity, and he was
being slowly broken upon the wheel. And then, when his left hand
twitched, I almost cried out. I had thought it comic before; now it
seemed the last proof of tragedy.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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