Quietude, a curious sort of emptiness, seemed to descend upon them
during those first days in the villa. Even Charmian felt rather "flat."
She was conscious of the romance of their situation in this old Arab
house, looking out over trees to the bright-blue sea. But when she had
carefully arranged and rearranged the furniture, settled on the places
for the books, put flowers in the vases, and had several talks with
Jeanne, she was acutely aware of a certain vagueness, a certain almost
overpowering oddity. She felt rather like a person who has done in a
great hurry something she did not really want to do, and who understands
her true feeling abruptly.
In the course of years she had become so accustomed to the routine of a
full life, a life charged with incessant variety of interests,
occupations, amusements, a life offering day after day "something to
look forward to," and teeming with people whom she knew, that she now
confronted weeks, months even, of solitude with Claude almost in fear.
He had his work. She had never been a worker in what she considered the
real sense, that is a creator striving to "arrive." She conceived of
such work as filling the worker's whole life. She knew it must be so,
for she had read many lives of great men. Claude, therefore, had his
life in Mustapha filled up to the brim for him. But what was she going
to do?
Claude, on his part, was striving to recapture in Africa the desire for
popularity, the longing for fame, the wish to give people what they
wanted of him in art, which he had sometimes felt of late in London. But
now there were about him no people who knew anything of his art or of
him. The cries of cultivated London had faded out of his ears. In Africa
he felt strongly the smallness of that world, the insignificance of
every little world. His true and indifferent self seemed to gather
strength. He fought it. He felt that it would be a foe to the
contemplated opera. He wished Alston Lake were with them, or someone who
would "wake him up." Charmian, in her present condition, lacked the
force which he had often felt in London, a force which had often
secretly irritated and troubled him, but which had not been without
tonic properties.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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