"Oh, but I paid them for wanting to know whether they could go to London
on camels. What a success your opera ought to be if you have got a fine
libretto."
They were just leaving the cafe.
"Do let us stand by the wall for a minute," she added. "By that tree. It
is so wonderful here."
Claude's guide, Aloui, had come to accompany him home, and was behind
with Amor. They stayed in the doorway of the cafe. Mrs. Shiffney and
Claude leaned on the wall, looking down into the vast void from which
rose the cool wind and the sound of water.
"What would I give to be a creative artist!" she said. "That must add so
much meaning to all this. Do you know how fortunate you are? Do you know
you possess the earth?"
The sable sleeve of her coat touched Claude's arm and hand. Her deep
voice sounded warm and full of genuine feeling. A short time ago, when
she had come into the cafe, he had been both astonished and vexed to see
her. Now he knew that he had enjoyed this evening more than any other
evening that he had spent in Constantine.
"But there are plenty of drawbacks," he said.
"Oh, no, not real ones! After this evening--well, I shall wish for your
success. Till now I didn't care in the least. Indeed, I believe I hoped
you never would have a great success."
She moved slightly nearer to him.
"Did you?" he said.
"Yes. You've always been so horrid to me, when I always wanted to be
nice to you."
"Oh, but--"
"Don't let us talk about it. What does it matter now? I thought I might
have done something for you once, have helped you on a little, perhaps.
But now you are married and settled and will make your own way. I feel
it. You don't want anyone's help. You've come away from us all, and how
right you've been. And Charmian's done the right thing, too, giving up
all our nonsense for your work. Sacrifice means success. You are bound
to have it. I feel you are going to. Ah, you don't know how I sometimes
long to be linked, really linked, to the striving, the abnegation, the
patience, the triumph of a man of genius! People envy my silly little
position, as they call it. And what is it worth? And yet I do know, I
have an instinct, a flair, for the real thing. I'm ignorant. I can dare
to acknowledge it to you. But I can tell what is good and bad, and
sometimes even why a thing is good. I'm led away, of course. In a silly
social life like mine everybody is led away. We can't help it. But I
could have been worth something in the art life of a big man, if I'd
loved him."
How soft sable is against a hand!
"I'm sure you could," Claude said.
"And as it is--"
She stopped speaking abruptly. Then with a marked change of voice she
said:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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