Events and periods, and little details! And who or what had guided him
through the maze of them? And whither was he going? Whither and to what
was he hastening?
His marriage and the new life came back to him. He heard the maids
whispering together on the stairs in Kensington Square, and the sound of
the street organ in the frost. He saw the studio in Renwick Place,
Charmian coming in with books of poetry in her hands. There, had been
the beginning of that which had led to Algiers and now to New York, his
abdication. There, he had taken the first step down from the throne of
his own knowledge of himself.
He saw a gulf black beneath him.
But Charmian called:
"Claude, do make haste!"
He caught up hat and gloves and went out into the lobby. But even as he
went, with an extraordinary swiftness he reviewed the incidents of his
short time in America; the arrival in the cruel coldness of a winter
dawn; the immensity of the city's aspect seen across the tufted waters,
its towers--as they had seemed to him then--climbing into Heaven, its
voices companioning its towers; the throngs of pressmen and
photographers, who had gazed at him with piercing, yet not unkind, eyes,
searching him for his secrets; the meeting with Crayford and Crayford's
small army of helpers; publicity agents, business and stage managers,
conductors, producers, machinists, typewriters, box-office people, scene
painters, singers, instrumentalists. Their figures rushed across
Claude's mind with a vertiginous rapidity. Their faces flashed by
grimacing. Their hands beckoned him on in a mad career. And he saw the
huge theater, a monster of masonry, with a terrific maw which he--he of
all men!--was expected to fill, a maw gaping for human beings, gaping
for dollars. What a coldness it had struck into him, as he stood for the
first time looking into its dimness as into the dimness of some gigantic
cavern. In that moment he had realized, or had at least partially
realized, the meaning of a tremendous failure, and how far the circles
of its influence radiate. And he had felt very cold, as a guilty man may
feel who hugs his secret. And the huge theater had surely leaned over,
leaned down, filled suddenly with a sinister purpose, to crush him into
the dust.
"Claude!"
"Here I am!"
"What a time you've been! We--are you very tired?"
"Not a bit. Come along!"
They went out into the corridor lined with marble, stepped into a lift,
shot down, and passed through the vestibule to the street where a
taxi-cab was waiting. A young man stood on the pavement, and while
Charmian was getting in he spoke to Claude.
"Mr. Claude Heath, I believe?"
"Yes."
"I represent--"
"Very sorry I can't wait. I have to go to the theater."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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