FOIB. Yes, yes; I know it, madam: she was in my lady’s closet, and
overheard all that you said to me before dinner. She sent the letter to
my lady, and that missing effect, Mr. Fainall laid this plot to arrest
Waitwell, when he pretended to go for the papers; and in the meantime
Mrs. Marwood declared all to my lady.
MRS. FAIN. Was there no mention made of me in the letter? My mother
does not suspect my being in the confederacy? I fancy Marwood has not
told her, though she has told my husband.
FOIB. Yes, madam; but my lady did not see that part. We stifled the
letter before she read so far. Has that mischievous devil told Mr.
Fainall of your ladyship then?
MRS. FAIN. Ay, all’s out: my affair with Mirabell, everything
discovered. This is the last day of our living together; that’s my
comfort.
FOIB. Indeed, madam, and so ’tis a comfort, if you knew all. He has
been even with your ladyship; which I could have told you long enough
since, but I love to keep peace and quietness by my good will. I had
rather bring friends together than set ’em at distance. But Mrs. Marwood
and he are nearer related than ever their parents thought for.
MRS. FAIN. Say’st thou so, Foible? Canst thou prove this?
FOIB. I can take my oath of it, madam; so can Mrs. Mincing. We have had
many a fair word from Madam Marwood to conceal something that passed in
our chamber one evening when you were at Hyde Park, and we were thought
to have gone a-walking. But we went up unawares—though we were sworn to
secrecy too: Madam Marwood took a book and swore us upon it: but it was
but a book of poems. So long as it was not a bible oath, we may break it
with a safe conscience.
MRS. FAIN. This discovery is the most opportune thing I could wish.
Now, Mincing?
SCENE III.
[_To them_] MINCING.
MINC. My lady would speak with Mrs. Foible, mem. Mr. Mirabell is with
her; he has set your spouse at liberty, Mrs. Foible, and would have you
hide yourself in my lady’s closet till my old lady’s anger is abated.
Oh, my old lady is in a perilous passion at something Mr. Fainall has
said; he swears, and my old lady cries. There’s a fearful hurricane, I
vow. He says, mem, how that he’ll have my lady’s fortune made over to
him, or he’ll be divorced.
MRS. FAIN. Does your lady or Mirabell know that?
MINC. Yes mem; they have sent me to see if Sir Wilfull be sober, and to
bring him to them. My lady is resolved to have him, I think, rather than
lose such a vast sum as six thousand pound. Oh, come, Mrs. Foible, I
hear my old lady.
MRS. FAIN. Foible, you must tell Mincing that she must prepare to vouch
when I call her.
FOIB. Yes, yes, madam.
MINC. Oh, yes mem, I’ll vouch anything for your ladyship’s service, be
what it will.
SCENE IV.
MRS. FAINALL, LADY WISHFORT, MRS. MARWOOD.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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