Adventure stories; England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction
Although both Mr. Fielding and I had already accommodated a far greater
quantity than the magistrate, we had served such a much longer
apprenticeship to this business (the shame is our own) that whereas we
were scarcely conscious as yet of what we had drunk, the square-toed
Sir Thomas was already hanging out his evidences. Now no sooner did I
observe this disposition in him than I was taken with a scheme by which
my poor fellow-prisoners incarcerated in the stables outside were to
profit. Whatever my shortcomings, I would never have it said of me
that I left a friend in the lurch. These poor gypsies had given us of
their hospitality; that in itself therefore was enough of a reason why
I should endeavour to spare them a hanging. Therefore I suggested the
matter to my companion.
"Do you think, sir," says I, "that we can get our good magistrate drunk
enough to be worked on to give the order for the release of my poor
friends the gypsies? It is like to go very hard with them, I fear,
unless we can find some such way as this to aid them."
"It is very well thought on," says this truly humane fellow, without so
much as pausing to consider the matter. "Leave this jocund old
justicer to me, and I'll answer for it that the king's enemies shall
get a free pardon. Now then, Tommie, by your leave I'll name a toast.
We will drink to Law and Order. Fill up, Tommie, and no heel-taps."
So thoroughly did Mr. Fielding enter into this plan, that very soon Sir
Thomas began to babble in his talk with a most unwonted levity, and
even essayed to sing a song. With such assiduity was he plied, that he
presently advanced stage by stage, until my companion considered him to
be sufficiently primed for this business. Thereon Fielding rang the
bell and ordered the head-constable, who with his men was keeping guard
over the premises, to be brought to him. When that worthy presented
himself, Mr. Fielding says with an inimitable glib audacity:
"Sir Thomas, after much weighing of the merits of this case, hath come
to the conclusion that the evidence is not sufficient to send these
prisoners for trial. He is sensibly fearful of some miscarriage of
justice, the more particularly as one of their number that you brought
before him hath turned out on an examination to be anything but what he
was represented. Therefore Sir Thomas bids me to inform you that he
hath decided to remit these charges. And he would have you release
these people at once, that they may go about their business. And when
you have done this, you are to take your men to the kitchen, where they
are to have a good supper of beef and ale, and they can then repair to
their homes. And at least this course, this somewhat extreme course I
may say, that Sir Thomas hath decided on will save you all from a long
and weary vigil in the night air."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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