“I want you to come down and put the cat out and lock up at once,—oh,
you did, did you?—and kissed me good night, too, you say? I didn’t
notice it. And did you empty the water-pan under the ice-box, and bank
up the fire, and water the big palm? Oh, very well. Then,
William—Wil-liam! I want you to come down again, now, and take a
rhinitis tablet, after the dampness of to-night.”
There was an emphatic sound from above.
“He’s shut his door,” said Miss Bertha.
Ah, what does a girl think who has given up all her bright anticipations
for a man whom she knows is not worthy? Lawson had pressed Dosia’s hand
only when he said good night,—there were others around,—but he had
looked at her lips. She knew how his felt upon them; their touch—more
than all the murmured elusive questions and answers—had made her his.
She knelt down by the big chair in her room, and buried her hot face in
the cushions, to try and think at last, with a suddenly sinking heart
that feared when it should have rejoiced. He had told her that no one
could make him go, now that she loved him; he would stay here. “And work
for me?” she had asked, and he had answered, “Yes, and work for you.”
She should be so happy now, so happy! The perspective down which she had
always seen her future was suddenly shortened; this was the end. Lawson
Barr, the man she had been playing with at a delightful, enthralling,
forbidden game, he was the man with whom she had promised to spend her
life, her husband for all her days; that which was to have been her
uplifting was instead something for her to carry. Suppose that she had
more of those awful, clear-sighted moments which had disenchanted her
when his sister spoke? No, no; that must not happen, that must not!
Dosia had acquiesced in what was said about him, with the large-eyed
uncomprehension of the girl who pretends that she understands what
everyone expects her to; it meant something—she was afraid to have
anyone tell her what; she pretended to understand, because she was
afraid some one would let her know of half-divined, unmentionable
things. He was not—good; he drank—people despised him: but he clung to
her, and she had let him kiss her, oh, not only once or twice, but many,
many times. She knew in her heart, she knew, that he was what they said;
but it was to be her work to help him always. When she had been with him
hitherto, there had always been the excitement of feeling that the claim
was temporary, to hold or not, at will, a mere pretense of a claim. Now
it was real. She was bound forever!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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