Her head ached so hard that it was easy to be quiet now. She could not
eat the meal which Zaidee, assisted to the door by the maid, brought in
to her. It seemed, oddly enough, like a reversion back to that first
night of her arrival—oh, so long ago!—after tempest and disaster. Yet
then the white, enhancing light of the future had shone down through
everything, and now there was no future, only a murky past, and she a
poor girl who had dropped so far out of the way of happiness that she
could never get back to it, never be nice again. That hand that had once
held hers so firmly, so steadily, that she could sleep secure with just
the comfort of its remembered touch—the thought of it had become only
pain, like everything else. Oh, back of all this shaming hurt with
Lawson and George Sutton was another shame, that went deeper and deeper
still. Since that visit of Bailey Girard’s, she had known that he had
thought of her as she had thought of him, with a knowledge that could
not be controverted. It is astonishing that we, who feel ourselves to be
so dependent on speech as a means of communication, have our intensest,
our most revealing moments without it. He had thought of her as she had
of him, and, with the thought of her in his heart, had been content
easily that it should be no more.
Oh, if this stranger had been indeed the hero of her dreams,—lover,
protector, dearest friend,—to have sought her mightily with the
privilege and the prerogative of a man, so that she might have had no
experience to live through but that white experience with him!
“Dosia! Open the door quickly.”
It was the voice of Lois once more, with a strange note in it. She
stood, hurried and breathless, under the gas she turned on as she held
out a telegram—for the second time the transmitter of bad news from the
South. The message read: “Your father is ill. Come at once.”
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
There are times and seasons which seem to be full of happenings,
followed by long stretches that have only the character of transition
from the former stage to something that is to come. Weeks and months fly
by us; we do not realize that they are here before they are gone, there
is so little to mark any day from its fellow. Yet we lay too much stress
on the power of separate and peculiar events to shape the current of our
lives, and do not take into account that drama which never ceases to be
acted, which knows no pause nor interim, and which takes place within
ourselves.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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