And Mrs. Snow was gone. Lois had not wanted her, but how alone it was
now! Even Mrs. Snow had seen that she did not look well—had pitied her.
The children were asleep up-stairs, the maids were in the kitchen. The
clock in the hall ticked. People walked past the house: a man
alone—another man; young people, laughing and catching up with those
ahead; some shuffling, hobbling toilers; then the light step of a woman
returning from work; then another man. Occasionally, but not often, a
carriage rolled down the street. The footsteps were always clear and
distinct from the corner below to the upper crossing; when it was a
train-time, there were more footsteps coming and going—between trains
only the solitary footsteps again. She heard the man in the house across
the street run up the steps to his front door, and turn the key in the
lock. The door opened and shut behind him. The clock in the hall struck
the half-hour—it was half-past eight. Oh, if there had been a life-time
of misery in that last half-hour, what was there to come? An eternity,
an eternity of desolation!
If she were to will him now to come home, if in the midst of the
glittering lights and flowers he could hear her cry to him,—“_Justin, I
want you!_”—he would _have_ to come. “Justin, I want you!” She rose and
paced the floor, sobbing out the words. No, he would not hear her—he
did not want to hear her. Perhaps he was laughing now. She would have
gone to _him_, if he had wanted her, though she had had to crawl upon
her knees through thorns and briers. Ah, how she would have gone! A rush
of blinding tears filled her eyes. He did not care. She had been ready
to cling to him, and sob her heart out on his breast, and beg him to
love her and kiss her and stay with her, and he had not seen. She had
asked—in the tone that mutely pleaded—_You will not leave me so
long?_—“The train that gets here at a quarter to one?” and he had
answered, “Yes, of course.” That was all. If her lips had touched his so
coldly when he had said good-by, it was because she had longed to have
him notice it, and ask her why. But he had not noticed the coldness, he
had not asked her why. He had not wanted any more warmth in her. He did
not care!
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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