And she began, as if to explain herself, to tell the story of the Wisconsin
farm, sleeping heavily in the warm sun among the little lakes; of the crude
fervor that went on under the trees of the quiet seminary hill; of the
little chapel with its churchyard to the west, commanding the lakes, the
woods, the rising bosom of hills. The story was disconnected, lapsing into
mere exclamations, rising to animated description as one memory wakened
another in the chain of human associations. Bovine, heavy, and animal, yet
peaceful, was that picture of Wisconsin farm lands, saturated with a few
strong impressions,--the scents of field and of cattle, the fertile soil,
and the broad-shouldered men, like Holstein cattle.
The excitement of the evening had set free the heart, and a torrent of
feelings and memories surged up,--disordered, turbulent, yet strangely
unified by the simple nature, the few aims of the being that held them. The
waters of the past had been gathering these past weeks, and now she found
peace in their release, in the abandonment of herself through speech. The
night crept on, cooler now and clouded, the heavens covered with filaments
of gray lace; the horse tied near by stamped and whinnied. But the two
sitting on the shore of the silent lake felt neither the passing of time
nor the increasing cold of the night.
At the end of her tale the dominant note sounded once more: "Eight or
wrong, happiness! for if we make happiness in the world, we know God. God
lives upon our happiness."
This belief, which seemed laboriously gathered from the tears of tortured
experience, had become an obsession. She was silent, brooding over it; but
she herself was there, larger, less puzzling and negative than
hitherto,--an awakening force. The man lost his anchor of convention and
traditional reasoning. He felt with her an excitement, a thirst for this
evanescent treasure of joy.
"If you think that--if your whole story turns out that way--why did you--"
But he paused, unwilling to force her by a brutal proof of illogicality.
"How is _he_?" he asked at last, with effort.
Her head had drooped forward, but with this question she moved quickly, as
if suddenly lashed.
"He is better, always better."
"My God!" the man groaned.
"But his mind is weaker--it wanders. Sometimes it is clear; then it is
dreadful."
"You must not endure it!"
She laid her hand lightly upon his arm, warning him of the inutility of his
protest.
"I think we must endure it now. If it had been done earlier, before--" she
answered tranquilly; and added definitely, "it is too late now for any
relief."
It was on his lips to cry out, "Why, why?" but as his eyes looked into her
face and met her warm, wistful glance, he acquiesced in the fate she had
ordained. He took her hand, the one that had touched him, and for the time
he was content that things should be as they were. She was looking out into
the ruined buildings, where embers hissed; at last she lowered her eyes,
and whispered:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account