Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
She became much more anxious about her appearance; for five mornings she
studied her face in the glass as she dressed—after all she was not so
bad looking. Her hair spoilt her a little, it was too thick and long,
but she noticed with pleasure that at least it was wavy—then she
suddenly admired the colour of her hair. Opening cupboard after cupboard
she went through her clothes. They were old, for the most part
distinctly shabby. She would go into Malvern that very afternoon and
order a new flannel suit at her tailor’s. The suit should be grey with a
little white pin stripe, and the jacket, she decided, must have a breast
pocket. She would wear a black tie—no, better a grey one to match the
new suit with the little white pin stripe. She ordered not one new suit
but three, and she also ordered a pair of brown shoes; indeed she spent
most of the afternoon in ordering things for her personal adornment. She
heard herself being ridiculously fussy about details, disputing with her
tailor over buttons; disputing with her bootmaker over the shoes, their
thickness of sole, their amount of broguing; disputing regarding the
match of her ties with the young man who sold her handkerchiefs and
neckties—for such trifles had assumed an enormous importance; she had,
in fact, grown quite long-winded about them.
That evening she showed her smart neckties to Puddle, whose manner was
most unsatisfactory—she grunted.
And now some one seemed to be always near Stephen, some one for whom
these things were accomplished—the purchase of the three new suits, the
brown shoes, the six carefully chosen, expensive neckties. Her long
walks on the hills were a part of this person, as were also the hearts
of the wild dog-roses, the delicate network of veins on the leaves and
the queer June break in the cuckoo’s rhythm. The night with its large
summer stars and its silence, was pregnant with a new and mysterious
purpose, so that lying at the mercy of that age-old purpose, Stephen
would feel little shivers of pleasure creeping out of the night and into
her body. She would get up and stand by the open window, thinking always
of Angela Crossby.
2
Sunday came and with it church in the morning; then two interminable
hours after lunch, during which Stephen changed her necktie three times,
and brushed back her thick chestnut hair with water, and examined her
shoes for imaginary dust, and finally gave a hard rub to her nails with
a nail pad snatched brusquely away from Puddle.
When the moment for departure arrived at last, she said rather
tentatively to Anna: ‘Aren’t you going to call on the Crossbys, Mother?’
Anna shook her head: ‘No, I can’t do that, Stephen—I go nowhere these
days; you know that, my dear.’
But her voice was quite gentle, so Stephen said quickly: ‘Well then, may
I invite Mrs. Crossby to Morton?’
Anna hesitated a moment, then she nodded: ‘I suppose so—that is if you
really wish to.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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