Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Angela went to her husband’s study, and she stood before him utterly
shaken, utterly appalled at what she would do, yet utterly and
ruthlessly determined to do it from a primitive instinct of
self-preservation. In her ears she could still hear that terrible
laughter—that uncanny, hysterical, agonized laughter. Stephen was mad,
and God only knew what she might do or say in a moment of madness, and
then—but she dared not look into the future. Cringing in spirit and
trembling in body, she forgot the girl’s faithful and loyal devotion,
her will to forgive, her desire to protect, so clearly set forth in that
pitiful letter.
She said: ‘Ralph, I want to ask your advice. I’m in an awful mess—it’s
Stephen Gordon. You think I’ve been carrying on with Roger—good Lord,
if you only knew what I’ve endured these last few months! I have seen a
great deal of Roger, I admit—quite innocently of course—still, all the
same, I’ve seen him—I thought it would show her that I’m not—that I’m
not—’ For one moment her voice seemed about to fail her, then she went
on quite firmly: ‘that I’m not a pervert; that I’m not that sort of
degenerate creature.’
He sprang up: ‘What?’ he bellowed.
‘Yes, I know, it’s too awful. I ought to have asked your advice about
it, but I really did like the girl just at first, and after that,
well—I set out to reform her. Oh, I know I’ve been crazy, worse than
crazy if you like; it was hopeless right from the very beginning. If I’d
only known more about that sort of thing I’d have come to you at once,
but I’d never met it. She was our neighbour too, which made it more
awkward, and not only that—her position in the county—oh, Ralph, you
_must_ help me, I’m completely bewildered. How on earth does one answer
this sort of thing? It’s quite mad—I believe the girl’s half mad
herself.’
And she handed him Stephen’s letter.
He read it slowly, and as he did so his weak little eyes grew literally
scarlet—puffy and scarlet all over their lids, and when he had finished
reading that letter he turned and spat on the ground. Then Ralph’s
language became a thing to forget; every filthy invective learnt in the
slums of his youth and later on in the workshops, he hurled against
Stephen and all her kind. He called down the wrath of the Lord upon
them. He deplored the non-existence of the stake, and racked his brains
for indecent tortures. And finally: ‘I’ll answer this letter, yes, by
God I will! You leave her to me, I know how I’m going to answer this
letter!’
Angela asked him, and now her voice shook: ‘Ralph, what will you do to
her—to Stephen?’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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