Lesbians -- England -- Social conditions -- Fiction
Stephen looked away again, closing her eyes, and after a while forgot
about Mary. The events that had preceded her own coming to France, began
to pass through her brain in procession. Her chief in The London
Ambulance Column, through whom she had first met Mrs. Claude
Breakspeare—a good sort, the chief, she had been a staunch friend. The
great news that she, Stephen, had been accepted and would go to the
front as an ambulance driver. Then Puddle’s grave face: ‘I must write to
your mother, this means that you will be in real danger.’ Her mother’s
brief letter: ‘Before you leave I should very much like you to come and
see me,’ the rest of the letter mere polite empty phrases. The impulse
to resist, the longing to go, culminating in that hurried visit to
Morton. Morton so changed and yet so changeless. Changed because of
those blue-clad figures, the lame, the halt and the partially blinded
who had sought its peace and its kindly protection. Changeless because
that protection and peace belonged to the very spirit of Morton. Mrs.
Williams a widow; her niece melancholic ever since the groom Jim had
been wounded and missing—they had married while he had been home on
leave, and quite soon the poor soul was expecting a baby. Williams now
dead of his third and last stroke, after having survived pneumonia. The
swan called Peter no longer gliding across the lake on his white
reflection, and in his stead an unmannerly offspring who struck out with
his wings and tried to bite Stephen. The family vault where her father
lay buried—the vault was in urgent need of repair—‘No men left, Miss
Stephen, we’re that short of stonemasons; her ladyship’s bin complainin’
already, but it don’t be no use complainin’ these times.’ Raftery’s
grave—a slab of rough granite: ‘In memory of a gentle and courageous
friend, whose name was Raftery, after the poet.’ Moss on the granite
half effacing the words; the thick hedge growing wild for the want of
clipping. And her mother—a woman with snow-white hair and a face that
was worn almost down to the spirit; a woman of quiet but uncertain
movements, with a new trick of twisting the rings on her fingers. ‘It
was good of you to come.’ ‘You sent for me, Mother.’ Long silences
filled with the realization that all they dared hope for was peace
between them—too late to go back—they could not retrace their steps
even though there was now peace between them. Then those last poignant
moments in the study together—memory, the old room was haunted by it—a
man dying with love in his eyes that was deathless—a woman holding him
in her arms, speaking words such as lovers will speak to each other.
Memory—they’re the one perfect thing about me. ‘Stephen, promise to
write when you’re out in France, I shall want to hear from you.’ ‘I
promise, Mother.’ The return to London; Puddle’s anxious voice: ‘Well,
how was she?’ ‘Very frail, you must go to Morton.’ Puddle’s sudden and
almost fierce rebellion: ‘I would rather not go, I’ve made my choice,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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