England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
In town, this morning, she had called at a chemist's, and purchased a
little bottle of something in repute for fashionable disorder of the
nerves. Before lying down she took the prescribed dose, though with
small hope that it would help her to a blessed unconsciousness. Another
thing she did which had not occurred to her for many a night: she knelt
by the bedside, and half thought, half whispered through tearless sobs,
a petition not learnt from any book, a strange half-heathen blending of
prayer for moral strength, and entreaty for success in a worldly
desire. Her mind shook perilously in its balance. It was well for Alma
that the fashionable prescription did not fail her. In the moment of
despair, when she had turned and turned again upon her pillow, haunted
by a vision in the darkness, tortured by the never-ending echo of a
dreadful voice, there fell upon her a sudden quiet; her brain was
soothed by a lulling air from dreamland; her limbs relaxed, and forgot
their aching weariness; she sighed and slept.
'I am much better this morning,' she said at breakfast. 'Not a trace of
fever--no headache.'
'And a face the colour of the table-cloth,' added Harvey.
There was a letter from Mrs. Frothingham, conveying good wishes not
very fervently expressed. She had decided not to come up for the
concert, feeling that the excitement would be too much for her; but
Alma suspected another reason.
She had not asked her husband whether he meant to have a seat in
Prince's Hall this afternoon; she still waited for him to speak about
it. After breakfast he asked her when she would start for town. At
noon, she replied. Every arrangement had been completed; it would be
enough if she reached the Hall half an hour before the time of the
recital, and after a light luncheon at a neighbouring restaurant.
'Then we may as well go together,' said her husband.
'You mean to come, then?' she asked dreamily.
'I shall go in at the last moment--a seat at the back.'
Anything but inclined for conversation, Alma acquiesced. For the next
hour or two she kept in solitude, occasionally touching her violin, but
always recurring to an absent mood, a troubled reverie. She could not
fix her thoughts upon the trial that was before her. In a vague way she
feared it; but another fear, at times amounting to dread, dimmed the
day's event into insignificance. The morning's newspapers were before
her, sent, no doubt, by Dymes's direction, and she mused over the
eye-attracting announcements of her debut. 'Mrs. Harvey Rolfe's First
Violin Recital, Prince's Hall, this afternoon, at 3.' It gave her no
more gratification than if the name had been that of a stranger.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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