England -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction; English fiction -- 19th century
At night she had recourse to the little bottle, but this time it was
less efficacious. Again and again she woke from terrifying dreams,
wearied utterly, unable to rest, and longing for the dawn. Soon after
daybreak she arose and dressed; then, as there was yet no sound of
movement in the house, she laid her aching head upon the pillow again,
and once more fell into a troubled sleep. The usual call aroused her;
she went to the door and bade the servant bring her some tea and the
morning paper as soon as it was delivered.
In a few minutes the tea and the newspaper were both brought. First she
glanced at the paragraphs relating to the Wimbledon tragedy; there was
nothing added to yesterday's news except that the inquest would be held
this morning. Then she looked eagerly for the report of her recital,
and found it only after much searching, barely a dozen lines, which
spoke of her as 'a lady of some artistic promise', said that much
allowance must be made for her natural nervousness, and passed on to
the other performers, who were unreservedly praised. Anger and
despondency struggled within her as she read the lines over and over
again. Nervous! Why, the one marvellous thing was her absolute conquest
of nervousness. She saw the hand of an enemy. Felix Dymes had warned
her of the envy she must look for in certain quarters, and here
appeared the first instance of it. But the post would bring other
papers.
It brought half a dozen and a number of letters. At the sound of the
knock, Alma hurried downstairs, seized upon her budget, and returned to
the bedroom. Yes; as it happened, she had seen the least favourable
notice first of all. The other papers devoted more space to her (though
less than she had expected), and harmonised in their tone of
compliment; one went so far as to congratulate those who were present
on 'an occasion of undoubted importance'. Another found some fault with
her choice of pieces, but hoped soon to hear her again, for her 'claims
to more than ordinary attention' were 'indubitable'. There was a
certain lack of 'breadth', opined one critic; but 'natural
nervousness', &c. Promise, promise--all agreed that her 'promise' was
quite exceptional.
Tremulous from these lines of print, she turned to the letters, and
here was full-fed with flattery. 'Your most brilliant debut'--'How
shall we thank you for such an artistic treat?'--'Oh, your divine
rendering of,' &c.--'You have taken your place, at once and _sans
phrase_, in the very front rank of violinists.' She smiled once more,
and lost a little of her cadaverous hue. Felix Dymes, scribbling late,
repeated things that he had heard since the afternoon. He added: 'I'm
afraid you'll be awfully upset about your friends the Carnabys. It's
very unfortunate this should have happened just now. But cheer up, and
let me see you as soon as possible. Great things to come!'
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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