The old-time fires were now banked deep in Daniel's mind under the
changes and chances of his life. Jealous he was, since a large power
of jealousy pertained to his nature; but for Woodrow he had long
since failed to feel anything but the staunch devotion of a brother.
Apart from this emotion, awakened by the circumstance of the farmer's
personal goodness to him, another far deeper, begot of natural
instinct, told him that Hilary was harmless now. Whatever his
attitude towards Sarah Jane had been, the very openness of their
friendship and the close intimacy of their conversation under his own
eyes and before his own ears, had convinced the husband that no
shadow of danger existed in their relations. The past in truth was
dead enough, and Brendon, a man of clean mind, despite jealousy, made
the mistake of supposing that it had never been. He went further
and, looking backward, blamed himself for an unseemly attitude, and
confessed his sin to his Maker.
The past was dead, and neither Hilary nor Sarah Jane, as they walked
together at the edge of the winter sea, sought or thought upon its
grave. Far otherwise, she found that in the light of his new
opinions he could now bitterly mourn the past. On a grey day, when a
slight shore wind smoothed the water and the sea was almost of the
same colour as the gulls that floated upon it, the man and woman sat
under shelter of a red cliff, talked together, and watched Sarah
Jane's child gathering cowry shells upon the beach.
"How your husband rejoices in his God! Have you marked it, Sarah
Jane? Such a trust and such a great, live gratitude underlying his
scrupulous obedience."
"Well he may be grateful."
"I'm only a child in knowledge of the divine idea. He's got far
beyond that. And yet--sometimes--I wonder what would happen to his
religion--and to us--if he knew."
"I don't wonder. I know what would happen. He might be sorry
after--when 'twas too late--but while the storm was raging in his
heart, God's self wouldn't hold him."
"I understand."
"And I wouldn't blame him neither. Think--the solid earth giving way
under his feet. 'Twould be no less to him."
"It's very awful--considered in that manner. I hope you're wrong."
"The sea would be weak and the rocks would be soft compared to him."
"You've never felt he ought to know?"
She gasped and stared.
"My God! No, I haven't."
"Sometimes I have, Sarah Jane."
Her eyes rested on him in profound and horrified amazement.
"You can say that! Believing in God has brought you to that! Then I
wish you'd never come to it, Hilary Woodrow."
"I have almost felt that if I lived very much longer, I might tell
him."
"You won't live much longer afterwards, if you do. He's said to me
in naked words, that 'tis no sin to kill them as have done what we
have done. His Bible is behind him."
"Nevertheless, if you were dead, I should tell Brendon."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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