Now, if you will kindly lend me your ears for a moment, I will fill them free of charge with a few words concerning the world's greatest assortment of marvelous monstrosities. In the first cell we have Senor Macaroni Spaghetti from the land of the banana. The senor is thirty-nine inches high, and, strangely enough, thirty-nine years old, to say nothing of the fact that he weighs thirty-nine pounds. (PATSY _scratches his nose with his foot._) He arrived last week by parcel post to join our circus. The senor is looking for a wife. Oh, you needn't laugh! It's true. Some of you near-sighted ladies should have brought magnifying glasses, for Senor Macaroni Spaghetti is the smallest speck of humanity that ever lived in captivity. He stands on a silver dollar and puts his hand in a thimble. (TEDDY _makes funny gestures during this entire speech._) The senor will now entertain you in his entertaining way. PATSY (_sings_). SPAGHETTI FROM OLD ITALY. (Music on page 107) Me name is Spaghetti, I came o'er the sea, To visit this land from old Italy, I have a small monkey, he jumps with a string, And if he was here to you he would sing: (_Dances._) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! (_Repeat until end._) I once fell in love with the sweet Antoinette, She say she will marry the little Spaghett, But she said she no like-a a hand-organ man, So I stand on the corner and sell-a banan. (_Dances._) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! (_Repeat until end._) I wed Antoinetta and live in a flat, I buy-a fine clothes and a big silk-a hat, I make-a much money and this little gent, He maybe some day will be big President. (_Dances._) Tee-oodle, dum-doodle, dum-doodle, dum day! (_Repeat until end._) MATSY. And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'll call your attention to the seven little Sunbonnet babies. Behold them, them famous Mulligan twins. (_Exits L._) _The heads of_ NORA, MICKY, BRIDGET, MARY ANN, MELISSA, CLARISSA _and_ PETER _appear above the sheets at rear. Each wears a large sunbonnet. They sing to the tune "Tramp, Tramp, Tramp!"_ Little Mulligans are we, and our hearts are light and free, For it's Christmas Eve and soon we'll be in bed, We're peculiar little folks, full of jollity and jokes, And you ought to see us stand upon our head! Tramp, tramp, tramp, we'll soon be marching, We are going off to bed, But before we leave you now, Each of us will show you how Little Mulligan can stand upon her head. (_All disappear under sheet. They repeat chorus and hold up their arms above the sheet. The arms are covered with stockings and shoes are on their hands. They slap hands together, making feet dance, etc._)