The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas PlaysHare, Walter Ben
Religion
The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas Plays
Hare, Walter Ben
Christmas plays
TOOTSY. Yes, indeed. My clothes are a perfect fit and nobody will
laugh at me now.
SNOOKUMS. I feel perfectly fan-tas-a-ma-gor-ious.
TOOTSY. Oh, see the pretty French dollies. I wish they would talk to
me.
WISHING MAN. If that's your wish, they can.
TOOTSY (_presses_ ANNETTE). Can you talk?
ANNETTE (_imitates talking doll_). Pa-pa, pa-pa, pa-pa!
TOOTSY (_presses_ OLIVETTE). And what can you say?
OLIVETTE. Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma!
SNOOKUMS (_presses_ BABETTE). Go on and talk to me.
BABETTE. Mer-ry Christ-mas! Mer-ry Christ-mas!
TOOTSY. I wish you could wind them up so they could walk around and
play with us.
WISHING MAN. Is that your wish?
TOOTSY. Oh, yes. Do you think you can do it?
WISHING MAN. I can try. (_Takes large clock key and winds each doll.
The sound of winding should be imitated by a rattle behind the
scenes._)
ANNETTE. Pa-pa, pa-pa, pa-pa! (_Walks forward without bending knees._)
DUMPLING. Here, stop her. She'll fall down. (_Grabs her._) Here, turn
around. Walk this way. (_Walks with her._)
OLIVETTE. Ma-ma, ma-ma, ma-ma; (_Starts to walk._)
TOOTSY (_catches her_). Oh, I think you are a darling. (_Walks with
her._)
BABETTE. Mer-ry Christ-mas! Mer-ry Christmas. (_Starts to walk._)
WISHING MAN. Here, wait for me. (_Takes her arm and they walk
together._)
DUMPLING. Wind up the soldiers. Then each dolly can have a partner.
WISHING MAN. Just a minute. (_Winds up the soldiers._)
(_The dolls continue walking around with jerky steps._)
PRIVATE BLACK (_as_ BABETTE _passes him_). Allow me. (_Offers her his
arm._)
PRIVATE JACK (_as_ ANNETTE _passes him_). Allow me. (_They
promenade._)
PRIVATE MACK (_as_ OLIVETTE _passes him_). Allow me. (_They
promenade._)
TOOTSY (_very much excited, runs to_ WISHING MAN.) Oh, I wish they
were all alive.
WISHING MAN. You do? Is that your wish? (_She nods._) Then I'll make
them all alive.
Hickety, kickety, bees in a hive,
Witchery, twichery, you're alive.
(_The dolls and soldiers twirl around and chatter merrily in
pantomime. Their actions from now on are as natural as possible._)
SNOOKUMS (_suddenly sees the candy tree_). Oh, lookee! Candy!
WISHING MAN. That's alive, too. (JIM DANDY _marches down._) Mr.
Snookie Ookums, let me introduce you to Mr. Jim Dandy, a stick of
candy.
SNOOKUMS. Would he mind if I'd take a bite out of his leg?
JIM DANDY. You bet he would. I'm alive now.
WISHING MAN (_looks off at L._). And here comes Teddy Bear and Jimmy
Bear. They're alive, too. And look at the Baby Elephant.
_Enter_ TEDDY BEAR, JIMMY BEAR and BABY JUMBO. _The piano plays a
march. All march around the stage, first the_ WISHING MAN, _then_
BLACK _and_ BABETTE, JACK _and_ ANNETTE, MACK _and_ OLIVETTE, JIM
DANDY _and_ TOOTSIE, TEDDY BEAR _and_ DUMPLING, _then_ BABY JUMBO
_with_ SNOOKUMS _riding on his back, then_ JIMMY BEAR _capering in the
rear. March around several times. A simple folk dance may be
introduced at this point. All sing two verses of "Follow Me, Full of
Glee."_
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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