The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas PlaysHare, Walter Ben
Religion
The White Christmas and other Merry Christmas Plays
Hare, Walter Ben
Christmas plays
GOOGIN. I think I'll chop 'em up and smoke 'em in me pipe. Much
obliged, sor, and merry Christmas to the both of yeez. Tell yer wife
that me and Honoria will be right up. (_Exits R._)
_Enter_ KITTY _from L._
KITTY. It's all right now. I left an opening. And I sewed on the last
pompon. Warren, don't you think we ought to remember the Googins?
WARREN. I do remember them. When people have faces like the Googins
one never forgets them.
KITTY. He's such a good janitor. Really, I think we ought to make them
a little present.
WARREN. But I'm busted, Kitty. Those masquerade tickets will take our
last cent.
KITTY. We might give the Googins some little thing here. (_Looks
around._) I have it!
WARREN. Yes?
KITTY. We'll give them Aunt Minerva's picture.
WARREN. Thank goodness. At last we've found a use for Aunt Minerva's
picture. Ever since you hung it up there it's haunted me. But the
Googins don't want it.
KITTY. I'm sure they will. They're frightfully poor and it would just
match their furniture, I'm sure. Henceforth Aunt Minerva shall shed
her light in the basement.
_Enter_ MRS. GOOGIN _from R., followed by_ GOOGIN, _smoking a cigar._
MRS. GOOGIN. A merry Christmas to the both of yeez. (_To_ KITTY.) Me
man Maginnis tould me ye wanted to see me.
KITTY (_at R._). Yes, indeed; come right in.
MRS. GOOGIN. I know what it is, darlin'. Sure it's a bit of a prisint
fer me and the childer, now ain't it, Mrs. Williams? (_Smiles._)
KITTY (_at R._). What a good guesser you are.
MRS. GOOGIN. The Widow O'Toole, her in Apartment C, was after givin'
me one of her ould worn-out waists. But I took her down a peg as quick
as a wink. I'm a lady, I am, and me mother was a lady before me, and I
don't accept cast-off clothes fer Christmas prisints.
KITTY. You don't. (_At R.C. near front with_ MRS. GOOGIN.)
GOOGIN (_at rear L. with_ WARREN). And nather do I.
MRS. GOOGIN. The ould bachelor in Apartment F gave me a fine prisint.
I brung it up to show yeez. (_Shows fancy waste basket, tied with
ribbon bows._) It's a new bunnet. (_Puts it on her head._) Sure,
that's a Christmas prisint that touches me heart.
KITTY. I'm going to give you that picture. (_Points to crayon
portrait._)
MRS. GOOGIN. The picture of the ould lady, is it?
KITTY. Yes. It's a lovely frame.
MRS. GOOGIN. And it's a nice lookin' ould lady, too. She looks a
little like me own mother, who before she was married to a Mulvaney
was a McShane.
KITTY. Warren, take it down.
WARREN. With pleasure. (_Takes picture down._)
MRS. GOOGIN (_taking the picture_). Sure, I have no picture of me own
mother at all, at all. More's the pity. I'll jist take this picture
and then I'll be after tellin' all me frinds that it is a likeness of
me mother who was a McShane from County Kilkenny. (_Sits R._)
GOOGIN. Would ye decave yer frinds, Honoria?
MRS. GOOGIN. A little deception is the spice of life. And besides it
looks enough like herself to be her own photygraft. Don't it,
Maginnis?
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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