He took her hands, kissed them both, and released her. She stood for
a while with downcast eyes and heaving bosom, recovering her mental
balance.
“You have not yet told me,” she said presently, in a calmer voice, “why
there should be this upheaval. I have said perhaps I might help you.
Why do your life and honour and my happiness depend upon your leaving
England to-night, Roderick?”
The supreme moment had come. He braced every nerve to meet the
inevitable question. Summoning up an extraordinary dignity subtly tinged
with sadness, he said with grave deliberation,--
“I cannot tell you.”
Ella recoiled involuntarily, staggered by the unexpectedness of the
reply. She could only regard him in mute but anxious questioning.
“You must trust me, child,” he said. “It is another's secret.”
“So grave as to be withheld even from me?”
“Even so,” he replied. “I know,” he continued gravely, “I am asking you
the ultimate thing a man can ask a woman,--blind trust. It is a thing
that only the great soul, like you, can give. Put your hand in mine and
trust in me!”
“Let me think,” she said in a low voice.
She sat down on a couch, baffled. If she looked up, she met the man's
burning eyes fixed upon her, and the depths of her being were stirred.
If she looked away, her life seemed fragmentary chaos, unrealisable,
incomprehensible. She breathed fast from a heaving bosom. Roderick's
mystery hovered between the grotesque and the tragic. To run away
clandestinely with the man to whom she was to have been married with all
the pomp of publicity on the morrow was an idea of comic opera. On the
other hand, the blind trust required raised the proceeding to the heroic
plane. Again, Nature within her shrank from mystery; she was a
child appalled by the dark, and fear was upon her. But the sensitive
gentlewoman felt the appeal to honour in every fibre of her pride.
Generosity swelled against doubt. A strange physical coldness enwrapped
her. To start to-night, with Roderick, surrendering herself utterly;
the maiden in her piteously sought refuge from the thought. She glanced
tremulously up at him, and her face flamed pink, and warmth entered her
heart. She covered her cheeks with her hands and shrank into the corner
of the couch.
“Oh, could I not join you afterwards?” she moaned. He fell at her feet
and clasped her knees, broke into impassioned pleading. It was a
matter of life or death. His unbalanced artistic temperament burst all
restraints of conventional forms of speech. He raved of his consuming
need. He was less a man than a shaking passion.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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