Their lives had been a hollow, hideous lie,--the lives of his gods. _A
fortiori_, the lives of common mortality were false. He seemed to stand
apart from the world, dispassionately regarding a race corrupt to its
core, and shrinking from the step that would bring him again into its
midst. Without Phariseeism he appeared to be the one clean man in a miry
universe; the sense whereof brought with it something of the appalling.
Whither should he turn without rubbing against contamination?
He moved away from the pictures and looked about the room. The familiar,
old-fashioned furniture, which the old man loved to keep in memory of
her who was once queen of the little space, seemed tainted with the
unutterable. He became aware of a physical feeling of nausea. The room
reeked. He flung open one of the French windows with an instinctive
craving for a breath of the cold December air that was blown across the
dripping lawn.
He brushed aside his hair, and tried to think. He stood as a judge; that
he realised. Those two were brought before the bar, accused of the
sin that his organic temperament pronounced unforgivable. The pleas
in extenuation would be weakness and folly; and weakness and folly he
despised. He was called upon to pass sentence for the shame of which
he himself was the child; and in passing it on the sinful pair he was
condemning himself to a living death. The man did not see that he had
been working all his life towards this doom.
The slamming of the door behind him caused him to turn round with
a start. His Aunt Agatha came towards him, wrapping a woollen shawl
tightly around her lean shoulders.
“Oh, how can you have the windows open on a day like this?” she asked
shivering.
He closed the window in silence and looked at her inquiringly.
“Your father has been awake a long time, dear, and is asking so for you.”
“A long time?” he echoed.
“Yes; before Mr. Usher came. Didn't you know? He addressed the envelope
of the letter he sent down to you. Didn't you get it?”
“Yes. I got it,” said Sylvester.
“What's the matter with you, Syl? Aren't you going to him?”
“Oh, of course,” he replied. “Of course--yes.”
He went out slowly and mounted the stairs with limbs as heavy as lead.
He turned the handle of his father's door and entered. The kind grey
eyes of the old man, propped on his pillows, met him as he crossed the
threshold, and a smile flickered over the wan lips.
“I was afraid you had forgotten me,” whispered the old man, feebly
holding out his hand, which his son pressed in silence.
Ella was standing in the light of the window, medicine bottle and glass
in hand. Until the liquid was poured out, she paid no attention to
Sylvester. Then she came to the bedside and looked across at him
somewhat defiantly before handing the glass to his father.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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