“Forgive me, Syl. Don't judge after the penalty has been paid. Even
common law cannot sentence a man twice for the same offence. And I 've
served my time, and so did she. My God! we served it twice over. And no
one knew or pitied us. I would have killed myself cheerfully to spare
you the knowledge.”
His voice weakened, and he murmured an inaudible sentence, then lay back
exhausted on his pillows. Sylvester looked at the kind, strong face,
now so ashen and aged, and a gleam was revealed to him of the spirit's
tragedy beneath; confused and blurred, it is true, but still a gleam
that filled him with vague disquietude. It dimly suggested possibilities
of life beyond the jealously guarded gates of his soul.
“You must have pity, my son,” whispered Matthew.
The tone wrung the young man's heart like a material grip. It was the
first sign of returning power of sensation. He cleared his throat and
said constrainedly,--
“Don't talk like that, father. I am your son and must always honour
you.”
Matthew again turned his head and watched the grey sky. He knew his son
to be a stern man, and the austere sound of his words chilled him more
than the death he felt approaching.
“What can I do?” he murmured, dispirited. “It was a long, long penance.
Don't turn from me, my son.”
“But--father,” said Sylvester, brokenly, “everything seems to have left
me.”
The numbness had gone, and the whole sensitive man writhed in sudden
pain, with loss of faith. His mother, whom he had deemed holy as a
saint, his wife whom he had worshipped as a star,--both to have been
false wives, women of shame! The old torture revived, intensified
tenfold. The sight of the once revered being who lay dying in utter
sadness before his eyes, and for whom the old love was now fighting
within him for mastery, raised the torture's poignancy to such a pitch
that at last it broke through the reserve of a lifetime and found vent
in a great cry,--
“My own wife was unfaithful to me. How, can I judge my mother?”
A flush of life entered the dying man's cheeks. He turned quickly; his
eyes were luminous.
“Constance? I did not think you knew--till the other night. And then I
hoped against hope.”
“Did you know? How long? I only learned it after her death--Leroux's
last illness. My God! does all the country-side know?”
“No, Syl. I alone.”
He sought his son's hand on the coverlet, and then continued in the
calm, assured tone that Sylvester knew had given strength and comfort to
so many. The voice had grown suddenly strong.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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