Bildungsromans; Midlands (England) -- Fiction; Young men -- Fiction
He went down the steps and into the car without looking at her. She
waited in the doorway as we moved round. In the black-grey morning she
seemed to harbour the glittering blue sky and the sunshine of March in
her dress and her luxuriant hair. He did not look at her till we were
curving to the great, snow-cumbered rhododendrons, when, at the last
moment he stood up in a sudden panic to wave to her. Almost as he saw
her the bushes came between them and he dropped dejectedly into his
seat.
“Good-bye!” we heard her call cheerfully and tenderly like a blackbird.
“Good-bye!” I answered, and: “Good-bye Darling, Good-bye!” he cried,
suddenly starting up in a passion of forgiveness and tenderness.
The car went cautiously down the soddened white path, under the trees.
I suffered acutely the sickness of exile in Norwood. For weeks I
wandered the streets of the suburb, haunted by the spirit of some part
of Nethermere. As I went along the quiet roads where the lamps in
yellow loneliness stood among the leafless trees of the night I would
feel the feeling of the dark, wet bit of path between the wood meadow
and the brooks. The spirit of that wild little slope to the Mill would
come upon me, and there in the suburb of London I would walk wrapt in
the sense of a small wet place in the valley of Nethermere. A strange
voice within me rose and called for the hill path; again I could feel
the wood waiting for me, calling and calling, and I crying for the
wood, yet the space of many miles was between us. Since I left the
valley of home I have not much feared any other loss. The hills of
Nethermere had been my walls, and the sky of Nethermere my roof
overhead. It seemed almost as if, at home, I might lift my hand to the
ceiling of the valley, and touch my own beloved sky, whose familiar
clouds came again and again to visit me, whose stars were constant to
me, born when I was born, whose sun had been all my father to me. But
now the skies were strange over my head, and Orion walked past me
unnoticing, he who night after night had stood over the woods to spend
with me a wonderful hour. When does day now lift up the confines of my
dwelling place, when does the night throw open her vastness for me, and
send me the stars for company? There is no night in a city. How can I
lose myself in the magnificent forest of darkness when night is only a
thin scattering of the trees of shadow with barrenness of lights
between!
I could never lift my eyes save to the Crystal Palace, crouching,
cowering wretchedly among the yellow-grey clouds, pricking up its two
round towers like pillars of anxious misery. No landmark could have
been more foreign to me, more depressing, than the great dilapidated
palace which lay forever prostrate above us, fretting because of its
own degradation and ruin.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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